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Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Irish Trash Can

This sort of thing happens to me and probably every other bartender out there all the time. Someone comes up to your bar and says "Do you know how to make a ...?" When you say no their reaction is one of almost discussed and say something along the lines of "and you call yourself a bartender?" Sort of the same way whenever I toss something at the trash can and I miss someone says "I thought you played basketball?" Yeah and the last time I was on a court I can't remember tossing a empty Sprite bottle at a square basket, but yes I play ball too.

Like I can remember every hokie name for every fruity drink ever invented. Seriously it's as though some mad scientist sits in his basement with every fruit juice and liquor imaginable and with each little change in mixture comes up with a new obscene name just so little miss Sally Short Skirt can come to my bar and play stump the bartender with names like an "Upside down shirtless whore" or a "twisted hammer toe." names so obscure just to make sure the name itself lends no hint or help to the one building the drink. Screw finding a cure for the common cold or cancer. Let's hook up every white liquor known to man and see just how annoyed we can get the local booze jockey. Here's a tip 9 times out of 10 if you come to the bar with a goofy name like that not only do we not know whats in it, but neither do you and we are just going to go and make some shit up and pass it off as what you asked for. Even better when we answer "no, how do you make one of those?" You have to go to the internet on your smart phone while the line behind you backs up to the door so you can find it on your 2G network in time to watch all our business go to another bar.

Yet I digress... This past wondrous Friday evening I encountered a young woman named Andrea. She wanted something called an "Irish Trash Can." She explained to me she was Irish so it was OK for her to order it. The same logic as saying it's alright for me to be racist toward Asian people because I own a wok. Ah the intelligence of the American future seems to be in solid hands. When I asked her what was in this concoction, as luck would have it she had no idea but she did have a smart phone. Passing up the obvious joke of smart phone in a dumb girls hands, my next question was why she felt the need to drink something of this magnitude. My answer was as clear as how many seeds this delicate flower has taken to her garden. "Cause it's awesome!" (high five) "You're awesome too!" (another high five) "What's your name?" (high five attempt) Thanks girl who still high fives! Admittedly I feared the next step was in the form of a chest bump.

When we got right down to brass tax this cocktail is not one I would ever suggest unless the words "I want to be blackout drunk tonight" are part of your vernacular for the evening.  however without further discussion I present to you the Irish Trash Can.

Irish Trash Can
.5 oz. - Gin
.5 oz. - Rum
.5 oz. - Blue Curacao
.5 oz. - Peach Schnapps
.5 oz. -Triple Sec
.5 oz. -Vodka
Can of Red Bull


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