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Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Some of the Funniest Shit I've Heard This Past Week

Being a bartender you hear a fair share of chatter. Some good, some tragic, some sad, and some down right hilarious. This week proved to be no different than all the others in providing me plenty to laugh about. Here is a sampling of the things my ears where privy to...

While shooting Jagermeister: "Here's to black eyes and swollen pussy's!"

If you Google Image search "coughing" it looks like people blowing an invisible man.

I don't think I'm gay. I just don't like vagina and penis's make me smile.

She looks like she would swallow a dick half past last call.

Is it OK to teach my third grade class all about Ninjas? And tell all the kids that if they don't behave I know a few that will come kill them in their sleep?

Q: Do you hang yourself a little when you masturbate?
A: I'm the M in BDSM!

I think we should have a alternate to Fathers Day called "Bad Fathers Day." We pick a day in March right around March Madness time and all meet at the strip club where all the daughters of the "Bad Fathers" are dancing. The dirtiest of the strippers is the one that makes the most money on the day. All proceeds go to a community college fund for the nice young lady.

Also a web web gems I ran across this week:

On Facebook checkout "Ghetto Failure"

Sorry I don't have a whole lot else for you this week. I'm just trying to survive the frigged weather like everyone else. Got to love negative temperatures in New England.


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