All of us are afraid to fail. Those who say they are not afraid to fail have never tried so of course there is no fear. My topic today is one of love. Yes, I know many a man have tried and subsequently failed in this arena, current company included and I adore love. Deep down even though I may not show all my cards and gush with love, at the end of the day I want to know I am truly loved as I think all of us do in some form or another. So although completely disjointed here are a few thoughts I have managed to put together about this very complicated topic.
As men we are classically trained to present ourselves as a rock or island that can live on the barren tundra free of feelings, caring or even (gasp) love. So we set up people to be our "safety nets." Going through life with a "safety net" is not truly putting yourself out there. The best example of this is the guy that tight rope walked across Niagara Falls. If that guy used a net to keep him from harm the feat would have never drawn the number of viewers it did. The cheers would have been less than half of what they were and even the performer himself wouldn't have had the bragging rights he does today. Never having to worry about the fear of falling gives no incentive to try to hang on when it gets tough. Having these "safety nets" gives us an easy out. Yes, I realize there is still some pain involved when there is a net however complete ruin is not eminent. Having others in your life that you know are just waiting for you to fall so they can be there to collect any morsel of attention will just take away from your real objective. Cut them loose and you will find that you will learn to embrace your feelings and fears.
Please don't get it twisted. I am not a love or relationship guru. I'm certainly no expert nor do I claim to be. I'm merely a guy with an opinion. This opinion doesn't even come from someone that has been steeped in successful relationship history. If anything quite to the contrary. I've been sacked and dumped on my head more than the Cleveland Browns quarterback. However throughout this adversity I still believe much like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy that Cupid is still out there. You see my feeling is that we all have at least some sense of what we want. Early on in life we tend to chase that ideal not realizing that love can be packaged in so many forms. We tend to place a high priority on ethstetics and look less at the overall presentation. Some of the best people I know are completely hideous to the eye. Yes, I said it and beauty is completely in the eyes of the beholder. All I'm trying to say is that if Hugh Hefner were to be that judge then there would have been an execution on the books in their case. Even funnier is that I know for a fact that I am not a great looking guy and yet I am constantly chasing love in people far greater looking than I an completely pooh-poohing on those that are really my equivalent just due to an inflated opinion of who I think I deserve.
Just think how much easier it would be if we were all upon getting our licence where put before a review board and assigned a number based on our attractiveness. This number is then placed on your licence or maybe it already is. Who the hell knows what is in that bar code on the back of your state ID. The rules then will be simple. You can only ask to date people within 2 points higher than yourself. If you are however you can date as low as you wish. Alternately if you have any sort of plastic surgery then you are more than welcome to petition the board at any time to review your current number up to 10 times in a lifetime. Although each time you petition there is a fee assessed to the petitioner and each month per state this pot of money will be raffled off to a group of people considered less fortunate however deserving.
Alright that was meant to be a joke. Although my point here is that in order to find love we have to be open to looking around corners and under veils. Willing to not let our own selfish agendas get in the way of real love and caring because once you have been there and done that, the people that did care maybe tired of waiting and gone for good. Life is meant to be shared and this is why we have so many people with us on earth to create relationships with.
So now at the risk of sounding completely preachy as though I haven't already. I present to you the bottom line. Learn to let go of those "safety nets." The closing of any good book is always bittersweet. On to the next is a hard lesson to comprehend. Letting go of the past and learning to move on to the next chapter is not easy to do. Understand that placing one foot in front of the other is the best way to start to move in the direction you wish to be. This is especially tough when looking into the dark hallways that can represent your future. Not knowing what lies ahead is far more frightening that falling back on what or who you know is always there even if they are there for all the wrong reasons. When it gets too hard just breathe deep and push on. There is love out there for all of us. Once you find it cherish it just in case there is an expiration date.
Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment