Words of Wisdom?? Maybe.

Today I was speaking with one of my best friends. We all have those friends in our life that no matter where you are, what you are doing, who you are with and no matter how long it has been since you last spoke you just are always able to just pick up the conversation where you last left off like no time has ever elapsed between the two conversations. I am going to omit her name because she knows who she is and the somewhat delicate nature of the conversation.

Although what I can tell you is that the questions she was asking where not uncommon. When I get my questions for my advice column each month many of the questions seem to revolve around the same issues. The questions about love are countless and I for certain am no expert on the topic. I am like most just a guy with an opinion. Yes, I know what I am suppose to do under normal circumstances with my opinion however in this case I was actually being asked!

The lingering question here revolves around past love and new love. Those that have been hurt before and don't know how to move forward. If they are ready to love again and if they are even worthy of being loved at all? Then how do they know when and if it ever is real?

Thanks in part to my Mothers tough exterior my first inclination is to say "Oh enough with all the feelings! Hike up the Huggies and drive on already!" Especially the part of about being hurt before. Just sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me. Just because someone rejected you doesn't mean you have to hold that up as your shield. It has happened to us all. Getting your feelings hurt sucks. Yes, absolutely but either get over it or sit in the corner and continue to cry about it. Don't wade into the deep end with all the other big kids if you don't have your emotional flotation device properly in place. That shield works both ways and it very well may be protecting you from the possibility of ever being hurt again but it is also keeping you from ever finding happiness as well.

Then in a moment of clarity I came up with this gem that I think is pretty fitting. Love is sort of like a extremely complex mathematical equation written on a whiteboard for you to solve. There is no real time limit here to speak of with the exception of your own life span and in the end it is just you and the board working it out. You go through many scenarios, possible solutions and formulas as you try and solve for x. Notating what works and what doesn't along the way. Erase some, add some others constantly looking for that perfect answer. Sometimes completely clearing away all the work you have done in the past with one failed swoop of your eraser brush to just start over. Short term set back for a long term gain is all. Failures here are just stepping stones to a successful solution. There is no need to jam a square peg in a round hole here. Be selfish in arriving at the 100% correct answer. Others may not approve of your process but that is why it is YOUR process. Finally with hard work, perseverance, countless frustrations, anxiety and effort we arrive at the answer.

Cheers!

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