Bless this Blog.

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Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Cheers Big Ears!

You have gathered up a group of your friends, relatives, acquaintances, disinterested 3rd parties and countrymen alike and prepare to paint the town red. The night of debauchery is about to begin! Collectively 
you have all decided the way to do this is a ceremonial first drink and so with drinks in hand and a happy heart it is time to take that first drop of loud-mouth soup you hold so delicately in your hand. Much like prize fighters before the big match meet at center ring. There are words spoken, instruction given and then the combatants touch gloves.

It all seems anti-climactic if you just raise your glass and drink. Something needs to be said! There are motions needed to happen here. There are rules of social interaction in this sort of circumstance that should be followed from an operational standpoint! Someone please step up and let's have some words of wisdom, light hearted philosophy or general instruction before we all wage war with the night ahead.

"Mother Midnight" can be a fickle mistress and you are about to stare her down for what could seem to be eternity condensed into a mere 6 hours. She is armed with weapons that could destroy you for impending days ahead. What is your battle cry?! For Pete sake and the love of God and all things holy someone say something quick. Before a single drop is spilled the room is looking to you for this final pregame inspiration... Come on coach we need your A-game and the old "win one for the Gipper" speech just isn't going to do here!

“Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!”

"We drink to those who love us,

we drink to those who don’t.
We drink to those who fuck us,
and fuck those who won’t!"

"To our wives and our girlfriends,

may they never meet."

To a good selection,
no rejection,
a strong erection,
a clean injection,
and no infection!"

"To nipples… without them, titties wouldn’t have a point!"

"If I should stumble out this bar, I pray this night is worth the scar!"

"May all of her children be fast asleep.

Until you have completed your deed!"

"May the girls with Itty Bitty’s

Let you pet their pretty Kitties!"

"Shake it to the left.

Shake it to the right.
She who shakes it best.
Drinks on me tonight"

"Out with the old.

In with the new.
Cheers to the future,
And All that we do"

"Work sucks. Life is Unfair. Cheers to the women, with thong underwear."

"Dollars make me hollar! Diamonds make me scream!
Men that give them freely, always make me cream"

"One shot, Two Shots, Three Shots, Four! If she's ugly shoot two more!"

"May neighbors respect you.
Trouble neglect you.
Angels protect you, and heaven accept you."


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