"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. -Tiger Woods
Golf Terminology and Abbreviations:
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies." - Will Rogers
U.S.G.A. - For the serious golfer this stands for United States Golf Association. For the rest of us it stands for "U Suck Go Again."
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course." -Billy Graham
Kitty Litter - The bunker
Saddam Hussein - going from bunker to bunker
Judge Smails (Ted Knight): "You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself."
Things heard on the golf course that just sound Dirty...
After 18 holes I can barely walk.
You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
Aren't you going to use a glove?
How many strokes did it take to get in in?
Look at the size of his putter.
I just tapped it when I should have hit it harder.
I guess I'll be hitting it in the sand.
Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
The hole seems like it is a mile wide today.
Can I join your threesome?
Stand with your back turned and drop it.
My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
Don't mind me I'll just be over here washing my balls.
Carl: "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas."
Angie D'Annunzio: "A looper?"
Best Golf Movies of All Time