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For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

NORM!!!

From 1982 - 1993 Cheers was the show to watch. The bar where "everybody knows your name and always glad you came." With it's cast of characters. Sam (Ted Danson) was the dashing, womanizing owner and bartender.  Carla Maria Victoria Angelina Teresa Appollonian Luzupone Tortelli LeBec (Rhea Pearlman) was the forever tormented, impatient and down right rude waitress, Diane (Shelly Long) was the intellectual and straight laced yet sexy blond. Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger) was the know it all fountain of useless knowledge. We got to see the rise of Woody Harrelson playing a hick farm boy from Indiana that comes to Boston to make it big as a bartender in the big city. And Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane the pompous psychiatrist and later spin-off of the sitcom Frasier. We watched the passing of Nicholas Colasanto who was born not to far from the shows Boston streets in Providence, Rhode Island in real life and built into the shows script so we could all morn together the death of "Coach."
The nation watched religiously each week to see the next plot twist. The show was almost canceled in its first season only to bounce back to be among the highest rated shows of all time. The show was a cornerstone for NBC's "Must see TV" Thursday night line up. It even had a hand of adding Boston to the list of Hollywood locations to shoot future shows and movies. 

Although throughout all the highs and lows this show brought us to. Weather you where sad over the passing of Coach or frustrated with the sexual tension between Sam and Diane and later Sam and Rebecca (Kirstie Alley) or to hear the suedo wisdom of Cliff Clavin. The one thing we could count on was for Norm to walk walk in to the bar while everyone in it called his name "Norm!" and for George Wendt as Norm Peterson the accountant that never seemed to pay his tab but always brought the funny. 

As a kid I got to witness all 275 episodes, countless reunions and plenty of one liners. I never missed an episode. Come hell or high water I was planted in front of the television and NBC Thursday night at 9pm. Mostly to see "Norm!!" Here is a list of a few of his Norm-isms for you to remember and enjoy...  

"Beer, Norm?"

"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"Beer, Normie?"
"Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young."

"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

"Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."

"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."

"How about a beer, Norm?"
"Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."

"How about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

"How's a beer sound, Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!"

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

"How's it hanging Norm?"
"Oh, little to the left."

"How's life in the fast lane?"
"Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp."

"How's life treating you?"
"It's not, Sammy, but you can!"

"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."

"Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
"With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson."
"Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty."

"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."

"What do you say, Norm?"
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."

"What do you say to a beer, Normie?"
"Hiya, sailor. New in town?"

"What will you have, Norm?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Oh, looks like beer, Norm."

"Call me Mister Lucky."

"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
"Daddy wuvs you."

"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going down?"

"What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Gimme another beer."

"What'll it be, Normie?"
"Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."

"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"Another layer for the winter, Wood."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody."


"What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer."

"What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets other beer."

"What's up, Norm?"
"Corners of my mouth, Coach."

"What's up, Norm?"
"Everything that's supposed to be."

"What's up, Normie?"
"The temperature under my collar, Coach."

"What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
"Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."

"Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

"Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."

"Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

How's the world treating you, Norm?
"Like I just ran over its dog."

What's shaking Mr. Peterson?
"What isn't?"

How's it going, Norm?
"Cut the small talk and get me a beer."
 What can I do for you Norm?
"Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer so how about a first one?"

How's life Norm?
"Ask a man whose got one."

What'll you have, Norm?
"Fame, fortune, and fast women."
How 'bout a beer?
"Even better."

What do you know there, Norm?
"How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?"

Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?
"Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead."
How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
"Pretty nervous if I was in the room."

Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?
"The warranty on my liver."

What can I do for you, Norm?
"Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam."

What's going on, Normie?
"My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."
What's happening, Mr. Peterson?
"The question, Woody, why is it happening to me?"

How are you today, Mr. Peterson?
"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."

Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
"See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."

Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.
"And I need a beer to wash him down."
How's life, Mr. Peterson?
"Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."

What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
"Elope with my wife."
[coming in from the rain] "Evening, everybody."

Norm!
Still pouring, Norm?
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."

Whaddya say, Norm?
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."

[Norm goes into the bar at Vic's Bowl-A-Rama] Off-screen crowd: Norm!
Sam: How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He's got a life, you know.

Cheers!








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