Before you say it if you read this blog I have given out plenty of Hurricane recipes. To be completely honest I think I have done this every time there is a actual hurricane in the local weather report. So this time I am not giving you a hurricane just like the rude guy in my bar this weekend who just got a glass full of juice!
Let's review the top 5 Jackasses at the bar:
1) The "snapper." - This guy thinks because he is whistling and snapping his fingers at you that this is going to make you take care of him quicker. Like his snap is the golden ticket.
2) The "I have money guy." - This guy waves his money at you in hopes of catching your attention in the form of $100 bills for all the women at the bar to see. After he finally does order and drinks for himself and every girl at the bar in his radius he then tips you a buck or less. Thanks big spender!
3) "Uhhhhh..." Dude. - This is the guy who has been patiently waiting while you are super busy however
when it is finally his turn he has no clue what he wants. I equate this guy to times you are the 5th person in line at a McDonald's and in a bit of a rush to get your guilty pleasure of a double cheeseburger, no pickles and light on the ketchup and mustard, all for a $1! Or whatever it is you get there. You finally get to be the 2nd guy in line and you can almost taste the sodium when the guy in front of you is asked "Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?" This Schmuck just stands there staring at the menu asking himself "what do I want?" The menu hasn't changed in 65 freakin years! You've been in this line for 8 of those years and now that we are at the front you think now is the time to finally give this life changing decision a bit of introspection! W
orse yet his order is a mile long and changes 6 times while ordering. Makes me want to be like the "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld "No drink for you! Come back one year!"4) The "Loudmouth." - This arrogant SOB has a lot to say most of it rude to everyone he meets. This guy is also usually the biggest guy wearing his 11 year old brothers shirt and can't hold anymore than a teaspoon of peach schnapps before turning into monstrosity on the other side of the bar offending, flexing and driving away any customer near him.
5) The "Your drinks aren't strong enough" guy - First of all I don't come to your job
kicking the mop out of your hands or chucking rocks at you while you're mowing so please don't tell me how to do mine. Oh and you're an alcoholic!Bonus) The "my breasts are pretty much out and I'm hot so pay attention to me first chick" - Oh wait, no I LOVE this one!
I digress... The guy I was previously speaking about was a combo of #'s 1, 2 and 4. So after the 3rd time of him snapping his fingers, waving his money at me and saying something rude while doing all this I was going to cut him off. Until I heard him say the problem with these drinks is that you don't even taste the alcohol. Well let's just say that for the next 4 drinks he was completely right. These went from stage 4 Hurricane to far less than a tropical storm. Even better this guy continued to act like he was drinking something much stronger. Better than that everyone at the bar knew it too.
Alright so now that I have told you that, I will now give you a tasty non-Hurricane but instead a rum punch. This will make you feel like you are on a Pacific island even if you are just in your living room in Wisconsin.
Tropical PunchServe in a hurricane glass over ice
1 oz. - Coconut Rum
1 oz. - Mango Rum
1 oz. - Pineapple Rum
1 oz. - Lime Rum
1 oz. - Hypnotiq
Splash of Pineapple juice
Splash of Cranberry juice
Top with Meyers Dark Rum
Garnish with a pineapple wedge.
Cheers!
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