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Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Monday, July 5, 2010


Drinks on me

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender [with a drunken slur], ‘Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.’
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00.
The drunk says, ‘I haven’t got it.’
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says [with a drunken slur], ‘Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.’
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can’t possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00.
The drunk says, ‘I haven’t got it.’
The bartender can’t believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says [with a drunken slur], ‘Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, give me the bill.’
In disgust, the bartender says, ‘What, no drink for me this time?’
The drunk replies, ‘You! No Way! You get too violent when you drink.’

Drink of the week: The Carrot Cake

The Carrot Cake Martini
Dip rim of chilled martini glass in cinnamon and sugar.

2 oz vanilla vodka
1 oz butterscotch liqueur
1oz cinnamon schnapps

In a cocktail shaker filled with ice cubes shake well, strain into a Martini glass, and serve.

Option #2 is the Carrot Cake drink

1/2 oz Goldschlager or cinnamon schnapps
2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
2oz Kaluha or coffee liqueur

You just can't lick the icing with these drinks.

The Karaoke Crowd

One of the great ideas of the bartending times is that of karaoke. For some reason it just brings in the people. For those who have had the fortune of working in a bar know that the music made during these sessions is not always the best. Many times the sounds coming from the stage sound like the brutal killing of many cats at one time. The literal definition of karaoke is "empty orchestra." I am thinking the reason for this is because once the orchestra hears the person accompanying them they all run screaming. This is for all of you in hopes of better understanding the different types you will see in the karaoke crowd.

Let me start by saying it takes balls to get up there in front of a bunch of perfect strangers. With that said now there are 3 types of people who do this:

First is the group people that really can sing. I mean they can hit almost all the notes and understand their vocal range and do not try to go outside of this spectrum. These people can really sing. Some of these people even have small followings. The followers of these people tip well. The performers themselves do not usually drink. An American Idol type of promotion over several weeks does amazing things to the tip jar and future bar business.

Then their are the "pro's." These people are the same ones saying they want to try out for American Idol. They spend almost every other night in a bar and they travel in a small pack from bar to bar. For some reason many of these people think some recording executive is going discover them and give them a contract on the spot after hearing their rendition of "The Rose" or some other slow lonely song. This group consists of terrible tippers and many times has more than a few non-drinkers or recovering alcoholics. Now if I were a recovering alcoholic the last person I would go is a bar, but I digress. If treated well and you get to know their names and greet them when they hit the door, over time they will begin to garnish bigger tips. They are usually well under control, keep to themselves and never really pose a threat to anyone.

Lastly are the drunks. This is usually a group of friends who got together and came to the bar with no idea there was karaoke that evening. These people have zero singing talent and they fully understand that. These people usually have to be at least 3 - 4 drinks into the night and maybe even a shot or two before they even choose a song. This usually comes in the form of a dare with all their friends cheering them on, followed by screaming into the microphone. This group usually has a great big tab at the end of the night. Treat them with respect and dignity while suffering through the pain of the performance and have a laugh with them after about it and you will have friends/ patrons for many years to come.

So there is the breakdown of this crowd. Next time your bar has karaoke pour great drinks and suggest a tune or two. Hell maybe even sing along if the mood strikes you.