Bless this Blog.

Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Great Fall Drinks

Often get asked for drinks that go hand in hand with the season or holiday at hand. This being Fall and Halloween right around the corner I figure I would beat a few of you to the punch and put out a few tasty Fall cocktails to go along with the season. There is no denying that Autumn calls for Pumpkin, Apples and Spice so that is exactly the target I am aiming for here. Let's hope I hit it and if not you are all able to enjoy these drinks enough to not give a fat babies behind!

The first part will be infusions. The largest component here is having a good infusion jar so you can allow your base alcohol to sit with the ingredients and do it's work in absorbing the flavors. A good infusion jar is made of glass or ceramic. Plastic will sometimes taint the flavor so I do not recommend going the route of old Cool Whip containers. Places like Home Goods, Bed Bath and Beyond and even Marshall's tend to carry the jar you will need.

Apple Pie Whiskey Infusion
1 Bottle of Black Velvet Whiskey
2 Macintosh Apples Sliced
2 Cortland Apples Sliced
3 Vanilla beans
3 Cinnamon Sticks

Now what you can do with this infusion is infinite. Add this to a pint of your favorite apple cider with a cinnamon sugar rim. Hold the Cinnamon sugar on using marsh mellow fluff or vanilla frosting. Take it neat or over ice and even in a mug of hot tea with sooth even the worst sore throat.
Cherry Ginger Bourbon
This is one of my favorites. You can cheat a little on this one by using a cherry infused bourbon like Red Stag by Jim Beam. Also a great sipping bourbon all on it's own. However if you want to start from scratch here is the recipe.
1 Bottle of your favorite Bourbon
1 -Cup of pitted and scored Black Cherries
.5 Cup of Raw Cane Sugar
3 - 1 inch thick slices of raw Ginger root
1 - Medium Orange peeled and quartered
.5- Teaspoon of Whole Cloves

Let these sit for 2 to 3 days. The longer you let this sit the stronger the flavors become. When ready according to taste strain the contents of the jar. Do not let this sit over 1 week as the fruit will start to ferment and the taste will turn accordingly.

Now onto the martini's...

2 oz. - Domaine de Canton
Splash of Chambord
1 oz. - Vodka
Splash of cranberry juice
Splash of Merlot.
Shake over ice and strain.
Garnish with a Cranberries

2 oz. - Cognac
1 oz. - Brandy,
Fill with Apple Cider
Shake over ice and strain
Sprinkle with cinnamon & nutmeg.

Pumpkin Spice Vegan Martini
2- Tablespoon Pumpkin Puree
2 oz. - Vanilla Soy
2oz. -Vodka
1 Dash - ground Cinnamon
1Dash - ground Ginger
Shake over ice and strain
Dust top with ground Nutmeg

A Few Stories I've Been Meaning to Tell

The past couple months have been run at break-neck speed or at least so it seems. I have barely had the time to remember to do all the things essential to life never mind update my blog. I thank my Pop for giving me the subtle reminder to take time and smell the keyboard again and get to posting. I'm not so sure his words were quite so gentle but seeing as he doubles as my best friend in this big world he of all people is more than allowed to tell me when it is time to grab my shoulders and feel at liberty to pull my head from my posterior. I digress...

There have been a few good times at the bar and lots of little funny stories and in lew of having something to rant about currently although Halloween is quickly approaching, I will share a few funny stories from my ill spent time behind the bar. Enjoy!

 A group of 5 guys walk up to the bar acting like they are the king Guido's . One guy starts ordering drinks for the rest of his crew with zero manners and respect for anything I am currently doing.
Guy: Hey get me 2 Jack and cokes, a Jameson and ginger and a Bud Light.
Me: OK is that it? (noticing there are only 4 drinks and 5 guys) Or is that guy in time out?
Guy: No, actually it is his birthday today and I want to surprise him.
Me: Oh well (looking over at the birthday boy) Happy Birthday Dude!
The birthday boy nods to say thanks. He has obviously had a fair share to drink already.
Guy: Yeah well I want to surprise him with something. Do you have any suggestions?
Me: Definitely! Here is what you could do...
Guy: (leaning in to hear me) Yeah what do you got?
Me: Later tonight when he finally falls asleep go over and stick a finger in his butt. I am pretty sure he will be surprised. If not then look on the bright side you learned something new about your buddy.
Guy: Uh...
Me: Be sure to wash your hands before you go touching your face or anything else for that matter however after.

Dr. Charles Ph.D.?
We decided to make things a lot more interesting and more of a party atmosphere on the weekends. In talking we got to thinking that too many of us weren't having as much fun as a bartender should have and we could provide a much more fun party atmosphere for our patrons than what we were currently providing.

We came up with a plan that included me being called down from the upstairs bar between sets by the band. When I heard "Paging Dr. Charles. Paging Dr. Charles. You are needed at the Main Bar stat! Please report to the Main Bar Dr. Charles." Upon hearing this I would leave the upstairs bar and make my way down to the Main Bar dressed in a Doctors lab coat and adorned with a stethascope. With a bottle of tequila in one hand and limes in my lab coat pocket I would stand on top of the Main Bar and call out to all the "sick patrons" to come "take their medicine." Yup this accually happened...

So there I am standing on top of the bar calling out to everyone looking like Boozilla. When I tilt my head slightly back and there is a set of lights on a live wire. Everytime my head touches the wire I get zapped like a test monkey in a wierd science experiment. After the third zap there were spots in my vision and I'm pretty sure I can no longer see the color red.

So one by one I begin to administer shots of tequila to the masses. This is when one young lady decides she wants to lay on top of the bar and open her mouth. Here is where is all starts to go horribly wrong... I walk over to her trying not to knock every drink off the bar in the process. When I get to her she is laying in waiting mouth wide open. I bend down to pour the shot and don't notice I have stepped on her hair and now she is pinned to the bar and in pain. She jerks her head to free her hair and I'm already mid pour and now the shot is going directly into her eyes!

She starts trying to scream "you're on my hair" while trying to swallow the part of the shot that did make it's way directly to the back of her throat and is now choking her. When I finally realize it I move my foot off her hair and she now yells "You got it in my eye!" My answer, "Yeah that's not the first time that you have or will say that tonight!"

The solution to this was simple. She demanded a free shot and got one right away and all was happily ever after.


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Cell Phones and the Walk of Shame.

The bar I'm at now is a pretty busy spot. Many nights the bar is 3 people deep waiting for drinks around the main bar. Lot's of people lot's of fun and with that booze flowing there is plenty of opportunity for a little confusion. Little things tend to get misplaced like keys, I.D.'s and even cell phones.

Here is a small piece of advice: If you have some crazy pictures of yourself doing who knows what with who knows what and who or whom... Have a password or some sort of security on the phone. Or better yet don't Because when you loose that phone on Saturday night and it gets found and tuned in to the bartender, we are definitely going to the pictures first! Then you get to come back and retrieve said cell phone and we will be smiling. No doubt.

On the flip side of this, if you are a dude or a person who takes tons of pictures of your cat or kids please feel free to leave your phone at home.

Now please don't get me confused here. If that's how you roll with personal porn on your celly. I personally dig your brand of crazy! Me and you are cool and thank you very much for the show. However I think there should be some limits set. If you are a big old girl and your kitty looks like a used catchers mitt go ahead and forget the zoom functuion. If you have so much hair that there are hippies trying to save your rain forest I don't nessesarily need to see that either. And I realize that there are guys out there that don't mind kissing her where she smells and that doesn't mean New Jersey.  However personal preference is a nice pretty garden. Maybe even some dangly decorations to make it an even happier place then by all means whip out those cell phones!

However no matter who you are, when faced with a open cell phone we are going to look... And probably judge.
You have been warned.