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Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Amorous and Erotic Drinks

So this past week I had my devil horns on for sure. It was a bit quieter than usual so simply put I was feeling a bit bored with the slower pace. This is about the time in the evening my halo became slightly crooked. I spotted a girl sitting at the end of the bar and after chatting to her and her boyfriend for a bit she asked me about some stickers I had behind the bar left over from St. Patrick's Day. The stickers had silly stuff on them like "biggest shamrocks," " best buns" or "feeling lucky." She asked to have the "best shamrocks" sticker. Now in order to get you must first give in my book of life and thus was going to be the case this night as well. She was definitely a cutey and her boyfriend seemed pretty open to my brand of humor so away I went. The deal was pretty easy if I was able to guess her bra size in 3 tries she had to give me her bra to hang in the bar. If I failed she not only got the sticker but also a drink on me. Fair enough right? So I eyed her up all the while making a couple martinis. I asked her to sit up straight and maybe give me a little shake even and she did! Her boyfriend was turning more red by the second. I gave her girls one last look

Girl: "You will never get it."
Me: "C"
Girl: "Crap!"
Me: "32"
Girl: "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!"
Me: "Let's play a game called I win... 1-2-3 I win! ... I seriously love my job!"

Now I know this story may not be all that great to the rest of you and yes I am sure quite a bit of this scene is lost in the translation. The bottom line here is in my job I am somehow allowed to eye up a woman's breasts and it is perfectly legal and not sexual harassment. Now I may not have your typical 9 to 5 job but I dare you to try doing that to one of your clients next time you're at work and see what happens.

With all this said it might be a little crooked, it might be a little tarnished, and might even be a little dented but that thing on top of my head is still a halo dammit! Even better watching this girl come out of the bathroom with her bra in hand and fully blushing made it all worthwhile. Again I say I love my job! My mood was now set to amorous and I started to think of a few drinks that might match this mood. Here are a few I came up with, I know there are several others out there but this is just off the dome.

Victoria's Secret Martini
(Her bra was purple and black)
2 oz. - Raspberry Vodka
1 oz. - Hypnotiq
2 oz. - Pineapple juice
Garnish with a cherry of course

Screaming Orgasm
1 oz. - Raspberry Vodka
1.5 oz. - Caramel Bailey's
.5 oz. - Kahlua
Dash of Grenadine

The Silk Panty Martini
2 oz. - Vodka
1 oz. - Peach Schnapps
1 oz. - Chambord
Splash of Pineapple Juice

The Hot Chocolate Kiss Martini
2 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. - Godiva Chocolate
1 oz. - Bailey's Caramel
1.5 oz. - Goldschlager
Rim the glass with chocolate sauce and Cayenne pepper

The Big O
I hope you all have multiples)
1.5 oz. - Orange Vodka
.5 oz. - Cointreau
1 oz. - Cranberry juice
1 oz. - OJ

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