Bless this Blog.

Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Friday, April 29, 2011

To Toast the Royal Wedding.

As the saying goes... Something Old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a six pence in your shoe. To celebrate the royal wedding this weekend the drink special will be the Something Blue.

Something Blue
Build this in a champagne flute
2 oz. - Hpnotiq
2 oz. - White wine
1 oz. - Ginger ale

... And to go along with this lovely cocktail here are a few toasts to marriage.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person."

"To love someone deeply gives you strength.
Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."

"Any fool can have a trophy wife.
It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage."

"A good marriage is like a casserole,
only those responsible for it really know what goes in it."

"There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day,
knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps."
- Ronald Reagan

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning;
it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."
- Mark Twain


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The New Season's Martini Menu

It is now without a doubt Spring and that calls for a new martini/ drink specials. So without further ado here is my new list of specials. Cheers!

The Lifesaver: Malibu, Midori and pineapple juice.

The Desert Pear: Pear vodka, Ruby red vodka, pear nectar, grapefruit juice, splash of cranberry.

First Kiss: Peach vodka, pineapple juice, peach nectar, topped with champagne.

Tiramisu Martini: Vanilla vodka, Captain Morgan, Triple Sec, Creme de Cocoa, coffee, and cream.

Bloody Tini
: This is a twist on the classic Bloody Mary without all that pesky ice. My personal chili infused vodka and my personal fresh Bloody Mary blend.

The Hershey Kiss: Vanilla vodka, Dark Creme de Cocoa, Godiva Chocolate liqueur, and creme.

Beach Day Dream: Citron vodka, Hipnotiq, Pineapple juice, Midori.

The Big "O": Hopefully you can have multiples of these! Clementine vodka, cointreau, splash of lime and fresh squeezed blood orange juice and a orange sugar rim.

Strawberry Lemonade: Strawberry infused vodka, Limoncello, sour mix and a lemon sugar rim.

Tangerine: Mandarin Vodka, Amaretto, Triple Sec, Orange juice and a splash of Grenadine.

garita of the Week: Top shelf margarita with my own infused blanco tequila. (past infusions: Mango, habanero pepper and cucumber tequila and Honeydew melon fresh mint, and papaya tequila.) With a salt or sugar rim.

Elixir of Love: Rum, Amaretto, Creme de Cocoa and cream. A couple of these you might see Cupid.

Limoncello Sparkle
: Limoncello, Grand Marnier and Champagne with a lemon sugar rim.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Submitted For Your Approval

This post is coming from Cheryl S. She came this past weekend to visit Maine with her husband and she told me that she had a couple nice martini recipes. I had no idea they where this good! I have to tell you I tried them out last night and you will not be disappointed. Thanks Cheryl!

Blueberry & Pomegranate
2 oz - Blueberry Vodka
1 oz - Palma Liquor
Splash of Blueberry Juice
Shake over ice and strain
Garnish with Frozen Blueberries

Grape Martini
2 oz - Grape Vodka
1 oz - Grape Pucker
Splash of Grape soda or juice Frozen grapes
Shake over ice and strain
Garnish with a couple frozen grapes on bamboo skewers

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Dumbest & Funniest Things I Heard Last Night

Last night while discussing what was in my infusions jar now, I showed a woman my watermelon infused vodka. This brought about a confused look to her face and mind you she was only 1/2 drink into the night. Then finally asks the question that has perplexed her this whole time "how do you squeeze all that juice out of the watermelon into that little bottle?" After realizing she was serious and before I could explain the infusion process her husband speaks up. "You see they have Gallagher come in here once a month and crush the watermelon with his mallet before they pour it into the jar!"

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Drink of the Week... The Banshee

So there is not a lot to tell about this one really. It's just a a good drink. I think that is enough to see it really. I have no elaborate story or reason why this drink means a cotton-picking thing to me or anyone else for that matter. Again, it is just a tasty drink. So sit down, order one, shut up and drink it and smile already! Why? Because the bartender told you to do it and that is enough! Cheers!

The Banshee
2 oz. - Creme de Banana
1 oz. - Creme de Cacao
1 oz. - half and half
Shake over ice until you get a good froth
Strain into a wine glass

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lazy week...

Alright I admit it... This past week I have been big time lazy! I have as they use to say in the Army walking around with my head deep in my fourth point of contact. i never did understand why my ass was the fourth point as when I fall it is usually directly on my ass or my head depending on a number of variables: total alcohol consumed, wind direction and speed, slant of standing surface, pace of movement and if music is involved and the list goes on and on.

So a couple of weeks ago I put the Blanco Mango, Habanhero and Cucumber Tequila into play and it was a huge hit with some and with others not so much. The combination really was a hit or miss type of deal. However I was really liking the tequila creation as apposed to my usual vodka infusions. As we inch ever so closer to May I figured it is a good idea to stay on this kick. May for me means Jimmy Buffet, salted rims, sunshine with hopes of a warm summer, Easter Sunday and Cinco de Mayo! More over spending Easter Sunday with my entire family makes me want to drink tequila. Many of my drinks lately have been a bit time consuming and involved. This week a quick trip to the liquor store will get you pretty much all you will need. This drink is the Pinata and although the name itself invokes ideas of belligerently beating the snot out of a defenseless paper mache animal or some pain in the ass who really works on your last nerve with a stick till candy pours out of their ass, I like to use it for more therapeutic purposes. So grab a glass and have a sweet spot in the sun all picked out to take a nap after.

The Pinata
2 oz. - Gold Tequila
1 oz. - Creme de Banana
1/2 oz. - Lime juice
Splash of Cranberry juice
Shake over ice and strain into a martini glass
or serve in a rocks glass over ice the choice is yours

Don't forget to breath deep!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Realizations About Women

There are several ingredients I believe are necessary to being a good bartender. There are the ones we all know like how to make a good drink, how to carry a conversation on a number of different topics and how to divert the conversation from touchy topics such as politics and religion. How to make people feel welcome and how to make a frown into a smile. Then of course to manage the bar in general and so much more. One ingredient however is how to listen. Just serve up a great drink and shut up while the customer speaks about anything. One time I was serving a priest from the local catholic church Father Patrick. After a few sips of his drink Father Patrick looked up from his drink and said in his thick Irish accent "you know Charles our jobs are not so unalike." I at first was speechless. Here is a man who has devoted the better half of his life in devotion to God and the good word and here I was some beer jockey just looking for my next good dirty joke. When I picked myself up off the floor to ask "How in the world do you figure that?" and at the same time hoping now was not the time he chose to confess some sort of mortal sin we have all been hearing about in the catholic church as of late. He responded in kind with "you probably comfort more people and listen to more of their confessions everyday than I do." Hmmm... Good point. So I listen. I listen a lot to a number of different conversations all at the same time. Sort of like watching television with that guy in your family who always has the remote and never just watches just one show instead opting to watch about 8 at once. When one conversation gets boring I just take 2 steps either left or right and listen.

Last night by some kind act of the lord above I was blessed with having a bar chock full of women. I mean really the ratio was like 8 to 1. So just like I always do I served drinks and listened. While listening I came up with a number of realizations about the fairer sex that I will now share with all of you.

- Every girl has anywhere from 8 to 10 songs that are her "jam."

- Purses cost way too much! I was always under the impression that a purse was suppose to hold money. How is this possible when the purse itself cost $2,495? When was the last time a man spent anything more than $30 on a great wallet? Also purse envy is a real thing.

- Any girl who says she can kick your ass no matter how small in stature she is... Trust her!

- A bar full of women is great if there are men on their way to meet them there to buy them drinks. Women are not only for the most part light weights but they are frugal and calculated light weights. Women have a good idea just how much they will spend on drinks in a night out including tip. Most women are so use to shopping on a budget that this carries over to the bar. Men on the other hand will empty their bank account on drinks every week if it means they might have a shot at getting closer to a woman for the night.

- Every woman has a "go to" karaoke song.

- "Wooooo hooooo!" can mean a number of different things anything from a mating call to "yes I would like another drink."
- "Woooo hooooo!" Can also mean beware the line from happy/ horny tipsy to complete train wreck drunk is fast approaching!

- A women will always know what to do when somebody starts to cry. This usually involves hugs and fast shuffling off to the ladies room. The equivalent of the President of the United States getting stuffed into a armored car after gun shots ring out. A man will panic, grab the nearest women to help and run away.

- Women get to the bar and NEVER know what they want. They tend to look at a martini menu like a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Case and point a man and woman come into the bar together and upon being asked "what can I get you?" The man will look at the woman to see if she is ready to order and upon seeing that she is not even comfortable in her chair yet he replies "Sam Adams, and I have no idea what she is having tonight." The woman: "Uhhhhmmmmm...." while picking up the martini menu and she may not even like martinis. Now this is all null and void if the couple has been together for more than say 10+ years in which case the man just orders for them both while she goes to the ladies room before she even sits down.

- Bachelorette parties have enough penis's (penis straws, inflatable dicks, tiny penis lolipops, etc...) They want men to buy them drinks and that is all! At the end of the night men will be penniless and not lucky and the women will be drunk and still have more penis's than you could ever offer them.

- Every group of women has a "we gotta go girl." This is the girl in the group that for some reason came out with her group of friends and the second one of the girls started to get a little to close to a guy she is group representative to come over at tell the girl out loud for all to hear "We gotta go..." Followed by some excuse like I have a headache or Tiffany has to be up early or the building is on fire.

Now I realize that these realizations do not nessesarily apply to all women but a great majority seem to follow suit. I am sure there are many I have missed as well but I will keep listening in hopes of someday having them all figured out.