Bless this Blog.

Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


It was the late great North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano that said in a famous speech that I have referenced here in this blog before:

“To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think -- spend some time time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think and cry, that's a heck of a day.”
I thought about those words today. So there is one, I sat and thought. I sat and thought because I had many emotions running through me. My problems however pale in comparison to many of you out there and I do not have nothing to complain about. However, if you are someone that knows me, I mean really knows me and not just my silly posts on the web and Facebook know that 2014 has been a year of hard lessons. Many lessons.
Some good, like getting to know some people that I really never knew before. I mean really getting to know them and placing myself in their shoes before making snap decisions about their character or judging them based on their flaws. Instead getting to a point where I feel comfortable walking a mile in their shoes. Where in the past I may try to keep them and others at arms length I have learned that it is important to let in those that care. And in return give back to them. Some bad like when you let a relationship slip through your fingers without being able to give it your all for many reasons but the worst being that you just weren't ready at the time. Also realizing that those opportunities may never return is quite sobering as well knowing that I hurt someone not out of malice but out of not quite understanding my own feelings. Then some very ugly lessons like no good deed goes unpunished. Allowing some people into your inner circle just to figure out their intentions while yours selfless theirs being quite the opposite. Most important when thinking about these lessons is to own them. They are now part of you and after ownership comes understanding, again through thought.
I also think if you know me or even if you know me a little bit you know that laughter comes easily to me. Sometimes just like my Grandmother use to laugh in place of crying. She could be scared out of her mind and she would just giggle. She taught me to never loose my sense of humor and this at times I am sure has been my downfall however many times also my saving grace. I tend to laugh at myself more than anyone and will continue to keep my sense of humor. Although sometimes twisted and dark. Laughter has always been some of my best medicine. This morning I had a good laugh with all my kids as we drove into school this morning. So I laughed today.
Then today I cried. I realize that I tend to have a cavalier "man-up" sort of attitude especially when it comes to this blog. So this next paragraph may seem a bit off center coming from me. However today I cried. I took a few moments to get in-touch with some of those thoughts and I just needed to cry. Even better is that I didn't have to do it alone. There are people in my life that allow me to use their ear and just listen. I want to be clear here. It's OK to cry. The toughest among us do at some point or another.
I am sometimes jealous of people who know how to wear their emotions on their sleeve. It doesn't make a man any less of a man if anything quite the contrary. I can tell you I regularly get choked up and can't help but let go of a few tears every time I watch my children do something I never have seen them do before. My daughter Zolyia's role in the school play,  Madelyne doing her thing on the field hockey pitch and when my son Kalvyn shows me something he has been working on and tells me he learned it by watching me. However I don't find that those tears are really a great leap of emotion just because it is moments like those that are why I had children to begin with.
Being able to reach down and find the inner confidence to allow those emotions to come to the surface on a regular basis takes more intestinal fortitude than I ever have known. The need to cry isn't something I have always understood either until very recent. I can't imagine myself going full Dick Vermeil here however the simple fact that I could cry and had people in my life that allowed me to do it is powerful and something I am forever thankful for.
Tears give us a moment to pause and just get in touch with those raw emotions. Tears force us to deal with those feelings on an emotional level and provide the time to listen to your inner voice on how to move forward. This can be especially hard for men. As men we are taught that tears show weakness. In the Army we were told that pain and tears where merely weakness leaving your body. Nothing could be further from the truth. Understand me when I tell you the same thing I have told my son. Cry when you must, it shows you understand the weight of the moment before you and whenever you need to cry I will be there to help you back up. My Mother and Father taught me the same lesson and today I completely understand that. Thank you Mom and Pops.
The final message in the late Jim Valvano's famous speech was a simple one. You see he was faced with terminal cancer and even in his time after being helped to climb 8 small stairs to a stage because he was so weak he spoke the most important words that ring true for us all no matter what our trials and tribulations may be and that is "Don't give up. Don't ever give up!"
Whatever you do, find that inner strength to pick yourself up after that moment to reflect and move forward. Keep on reaching. Think of it as your own personal "Invictus." Get up stare life in the eye and tell it "You hit like a little bitch." You will get knocked down. I can assure you of this. As sure as I type this through my own tears and tell you that no matter how heavy the day is the sun is going to keep coming up and you need to be the one to answer that call. Find that strength however you must because there is still more to the day.
My father once wrote this quote I still carry with me in my wallet everyday. The quote is from Theodore Roosevelt.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
The overwhelming message I am trying to convey here is that it's OK to take that moment and give yourself pause and a chance to think it around corners. It takes a person with great courage to do just that. However when all is said and done it also takes a real courage to face all those demons and carry on in a positive way. To be the person you know you can be. To cast aside all excuses, fears and doubts. Without shame or a desire for pity. All the while owning all your faults and shortcomings. Just don't give up!
Today I thought, I laughed and now I have cried. I have had a full day and it is only noon. Now it's time to make the rest of the day mine. I wish you all the same.

By William Ernest Henley 1849–1903
Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
      I am the captain of my soul.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Gay Pride

I work as a Bartender in Ogunquit, Maine. Known for being a very liberal community nestled in Southern Maine. This beachfront town resides in an otherwise Republican state. Sometimes even referred to as "Provincetown North" for it's large Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) population. Ogunquit tends to be where the older queens settle down. The reason I bring this up is that over the years of working and visiting beautiful Ogunquit Beach. I have gained an interesting perspective into the gay community, and let me say first of all the following comes from a good place. I have several friends now in the GLBT Community and I think you are all fabulous. Being a bartender in this town I am asked all the time if I think Gay marriage should be legal and my answer is "ABSOLUTELY!!!" If you love someone and want to spend the rest of your God given days with them I say it is well within your right to be as miserable as the straight married people. Taking it one step further I think all people have a right to what makes them happy so long as it isn't hurting anyone else. I served in the United States Military and feel the "Don't ask don't tell" policy is completely ridiculous. If I am in a foxhole with someone while bullets are flying overhead I would want someone next to me that thinks I am cute enough to keep safe! Being true to ones self is a act of courage and should not be denounced by anyone. So with that said...

I think gay guys have the right idea! I got to thinking about it one day while in the shower of all places. As I have admitted in the past the shower is sort of a thinking place for me. Now please don't let that last couple sentences distract you and follow me here for a moment if you will. I am purely speaking about gay men here for the moment when I say this. I mean two dudes living together, even I have done that back in college. No silly arguments just because they are cranky due to not understanding cramps and mood swings during shark week. The duel income of two men would be sweet seeing as men typically make more than women for doing the same job even in this day and age. No uterus = no little pie holes to fill when it comes to kids. There is no having to do the whole romantic dinner and candle light and bring her out and hope to get her drunk enough because, well we're dudes. There are so many benefits and still I just can't do it. I mean just the thought of kissing another guy kills it for me.

I hate to say this about the gay guys but there is no way I could be intimate with a dude and that's sad because there are many of them that are prettier than women. Hell you even wear expensive cologne and spend an eternity at the gym. I could be a lesbian in a snap! Hell most of the women in Maine dress like butch lesbians anyway. Every summer a very high number of the women up here need a bag catcher for their Epilady to recover from the winter growth in order to wear a bathing suit and not be mistaken for a Yeti. I'm convinced that transsexuals are the only ones that actually dress like men want women to dress like anymore, in expensive lingerie in high heels. If it weren't for Burt Reynolds chest hair, 5 o'clock shadow and Billy and the Boys hanging low they might just be able to pull it off. Men in general are hairy and gross where as women are soft and smooth and smell nice all the time. Even when they sweat it smells a million times better than guy friends couch. I was talking to a new gay friend of mine Darren the other night and he told me it hurts to take a dick in the ass every time! Every single time it hurts like it's the first time and he should know. He also
said that you just have to relax your muscles (I swear I have told this to more than one woman.) There I was in the shower again this time cleaning my nooks and crannies and I can't even get a soapy pinky past the forbidden exit. I can't even imagine an entire penis. If I ever were to go gay I would definitely have to be the man in the relationship. However aside from the sexual aspect you guys really do have this whole thing licked!

Ever see a poor gay couple? Nope! They both have matching German vehicles, expensive watches and great fashion sense. I am convinced they are the only ones that have enough money and confidence to shop at Banana Republic. For those of you who have never been in to one trust me it is not for the feint of heart. Every one of their sales people make Abercrombie and Fitch employees look like they should be the janitor at a 7-11. You will never see a straight married man in a Banana Republic. Not because he doesn't want to, mind you. Their clothing is wonderful and their fabric makes you feel like royalty. The reasons are they can't afford it and second they have no possible comeback to the way the sales person calls them a fatty without actually saying it. The judgment
happens so fast and there is no other response than to hang your head in shame of your pear shape figure. The sales people don't even walk on the floor, they merely float over to you on a cloud of condescension passed on to them by their parents disdain for the fact that they will never have grandchildren except for the little Chinese girl tote around after they saved her from being thrown over a cliff by her parents that wanted a strong boy and now call their own or their two Labra-doodles they treat just like their own children.

Hell you even have a parade. Did you know that the least celebrated race on this planet is the straight white male! If you where ever to have a parade for my demographic you can almost bet there would
be a riot and the KKK would want to join in. There is the Puerto Rican Day Parade, There are women's rallies, black history month and countless other demographics being celebrated. The only one not celebrated is my people.

Now don't get me wrong I am actually happy you have a parade but seriously does it have to be right down Main Street in every major city in America? Just because you can take a dick shouldn't have to mean I have to go 8 blocks out of my way while you fuck up traffic. Seriously gas is almost $4 / gallon and I have shit to do on a Saturday. Also while I am on the subject why did you have to adopt the rainbow of all things as your symbol. I remember when I was a little kid I use to draw a house with a nice sunshine, green grass and flowers and a nice big rainbow. Now it's no longer innocent and 5 year olds everywhere are being gender qualified before they even
get out of the 3rd grade. How about we trade you for a Technicolor Unicorn it will even have a phallic shaped horn that is ribbed for your pleasure... No? OK it was worth a shot. 

I realize that none of this was politically correct nor was it meant to be. It is just one man's opinion. However unfortunately straight that opinion maybe.