Bless this Blog.

Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

A Drink or 2 for Black Friday

The stores are getting ready to crank open at at some ungodly hour. You can almost hear the cash registers from the parking lot. People standing in line to get that perfect present for 35% off the regular price. Black Friday has become a holiday all unto itself. And what do we do on holidays? We have a drink!

The Black Friday Tea
2 oz. - Bourbon
1 oz. - Ginger ale
2 oz. - Cola
Squeeze of lime

Black Friday Twist

1/2 oz. - Midori (Melon Liquor)
1/2 oz. - Peach Schnapps
1 1/2 oz. - Cranberry Juice
1 1/2 oz. - Orange Juice
1 1/2 oz. - Blavod (Black Vodka)
Pour the Midori and orange into the collins glass
Fill with ice, then pour peach schnapps and cranbe
rry into mixing tin and shake with ice.
Strain into glass so it floats above orange & Midori.
Float Blavod vodka on top.

Kansas City Tea... A new one on me.

As always when I hear of a drink that is a new one on me I let you all know if it sounds like a good one. So when I stopped by a local watering hole the other day I caught wind of this new one on me...

Kansas City Iced Tea
In a mug or pint glass filled with ice
2 oz. - Hennessy
Splash of sour mix
Fill with Lemon Lime Soda
Garnish with 2 lemon slices

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Cheers!

As you all raise your glasses this Thanksgiving day be sure to give a little cheer! Happy Thanksgiving!

Our rural ancestors, with little blessed,
Patient of labor when the end was rest,
Indulged the day that housed their annual grain,
With feasts, and off'rin
gs, and a thankful strain.
~Alexander Pope

He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.
~J.A. Shedd

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck

It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it. ~Alistair Cooke

The Cure?

Tonight marks Thanksgiving Eve. When I was younger this really had no meaning. If anything it was just the day my Mom would be in a panic over all the things that needed to get done or cleaned before the whole family showed up our house for the feast. Now that I am a bit older however not much wiser I now mark this day as one of the biggest drinking days of the year right up there with St. Patrick's Day and New Years. So my thought was to give you all some pointers on not only how to handle the impending hangover but also maybe how to avoid it to begin with.Now much like celibacy is the sure fire way not to get pregnant, staying dry would be the way to avoid the hangover. Since that is not what this posting is all about I will merely start off with a word of caution and say please be safe and do not drink and drive. With that said I will now begin...

No matter who you talk to much like a cure for the hiccups everyone seems to have their own remedy for a good hangover. I think I have heard just about all of them. Mine is to drink a can of V8 in the morning with a couple of Tylenol. I have heard greasy food like McDonald's breakfasts does the trick. Others say that the way to avoid it is to drink a glass of water between every drink. I am sure that one slows down the drinking of alcohol process and dehydration thus avoiding the hangover however I think having to get up that many times throughout the night to pee might give me a headache the next day.

So first lets understand the hangover. Excuse me while I put on my lab coat and glasses. By drinking large quantities of alcohol the body gets dehydrated. You see alcohol is a diuretic, (a drug that flushes the body of fluids and increases urination.) This in turn depletes the body of necessary minerals, nutrients, water and blood sugar. Taking the coat off now this means you drink too much it makes you pee and then your body looses all the good stuff that makes you feel human on a daily basis.

So what else causes the dreaded hangover?
- The British Medical journal did a study some time back that said some alcoholic beverages are more likely to cause a hangover than others. This showed 1 glass of bourbon whiskey is twice as likely to cause a hangover than the same amount of vodka.

- If you drink a wine that is too young. Almost all red wines and chardonnay are matured in oak barrels so that they will keep and improve. If you drink this wine younger than three years you run a higher risk of getting a hangover. As a rule of thumb wine stored in oak barrels for six months should be acceptable to drink within the first year. If the wine is stored for twelve months or more in oak barrels it should then be left for at least four years. Some winemakers have been known to add oak chips directly into the wine to enhance flavors, especially in a bad season, and this can take years to become neutral.

- Mixing drinks can cause hangovers. Be careful with what you’re drinking and when you’re drinking it. When in doubt also remember "Beer before liquor never sicker. Liquor before beer you're in the clear."

- Never drink on an empty stomach. Food helps to absorb some of the alcohol and aids the body in digesting it faster.

- Limit yourself to less than 1 drink per hour.

- Stick to non-carbonated drinks as carbonation can speed up the alcohol absorption.

- Be sure to choose drinks with low levels of congeners (light drinks such as white wines, gin, and vodka) – these are additives that are found in alcohol that increase your risk of a hangover. Dark-colored drinks (such as red wine, bourbon, and rum) have higher levels of congeners and should be avoided as often as possible.
Now on to the remedies. Here is a quick list of all the run of the mill cures.
- "Hair of the dog that bit you." Now this has proven NOT too work for the long run. However what it does do is to make your body process a new batch of alcohol and forget about the other problem for the short term.

- Take Vitamin C as it may increase the rate of alcohol breakdown in the body.

- Bouillon soup, water and fruit juice or sports beverages (i.e. Gatorade) may help replace depleted salt and potassium levels.

- There are also a lot of morning after and hangover pills out there that give your body a good shot of the vitamins it lost during the past 12 hour Booze-a-palooza!

With all that said here are a few home remedies I found out there you can try if you are feeling a bit more adventurous. None of these seem to be at all appetizing and on screen they are making me feel queasy just thinking about them but here they are anyway.

Apple Cider Vinegar Cocktail
1 Tablespoon - Apple cider vinegar
1 cup - warm water
Shake and drink immediately.

Anthony Bourdain's
Hangover Cure
“Roll a really good joint and huff that before you get out of bed. Then have a cold Coca-Cola. Then have something like cold Kung Pao chicken or some very spicy leftovers. The trilogy of opulence.”

The Healthy Hangover Smoothie

In the blender
1 - over-ripe banana
5-6 Frozen strawberries
1/4 cup - Blueberries
1/4 cup - Frozen or fresh pineapple
1 1/2 cups - Cold vanilla soy milk
1/2 cup - orange juice
Dash of salt
Dash of cayenne
Blend and drink!

Follow this with a glass of water and the following:
1000 milligrams vitamin C
one B complex vitamin
600 milligrams N-acetyl-cysteine or "NAC"
400 milligrams Ibuprofen
Go back to the couch and STAY!

Finally here is a drink for the night feel free to garnish with a bit of foreshadowing and irony thrown in for good measure.

The Pepto Martini
1/4 oz - Lemon Vodka
1/4 oz - Orange Vodka
1/4 oz - Peach Vodka
1/4 oz - Raspberry Vodka
1/4 oz - Cranberry Juice
1/2 oz - Grenadine Syrup
Dash - Whipped Cream


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Turkey Day Cocktails

With Thanksgiving Day coming up quickly I think a few good cocktails are in order to celebrate the day with family and friends. Thanksgiving always reminds me of apple and cranberry and other fall flavors. So find the remote control and find the "fat day" pants here are a few Thanksgiving cocktails that will help make some of those family members a bit more tolerable and the day go by a lot smoother.

Thanksgiving Cocktail
1/2 oz. - Lemon juice
1 oz. - Apricot Brandy
1 oz. - Dry Vermouth
1 oz. - Gin
*Shake all ingredients over ice strain into a old fashion glass * Garnish with a turkey leg

Cranberry Collins
1/2 oz. - Cranberry juice
1 oz. - Gin
1/2 oz - Lime juice
Top with Club Soda
Garnish with a few Cranberries

Gingerbread Martini
1 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. - Frangelico
1/2 oz. - Butterscotch Schnapps
Shake over ice
strain into martini glass

Top with Ginger Beer
Float Dark Rum
Garnish with mini gingerbread man.

Cranberry Kiss

1 oz. - Spiced Rum
2 oz. - Collins Mix
2 oz. - Cranberry juice
Garnish with a lemon wedge

Autumn Leaf
1/2 oz. - Brandy
1/2 oz. - Creme de Menthe
1/2 oz. - Galliano
Sprinkle top with Nutmeg

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sparkle, Fizz and Pops!

Maybe it's the dreary weather, perhaps it's the cold November mornings or it could just be a longing for a little something different that prompted this posting. Sometimes life lacks sparkle, fizz or that certain pop and it is up to each one of use to infuse it in our own lives. This is sounding WAY too deep of an introduction to three simple drinks. So without further ado I give you some sparkle, fizz and pop today.

Limonchello Sparkle
1 part - Lemonchello (clear)
1/2 part - Cointreau
Shake over ice and strain into a champagne flute
Fill the glass with Champagne or Sparkling wine
Garnish with a lemon twist

Drambuie Fizz
In a rocks glass
Muddle 6 - 8 lime wedges
Fill the glass with ice
2 oz. - Drambuie
Top with Soda Water

This last one I must give credit to Lori who gave me the idea for this martini. This is a play on the old popsicle I can still picture on the side of the ice cream truck that use to roll through the neighborhood.

Bomb Pop Martini
2 oz. - Bacardi Razz
2 oz. - Blue Curacao
Shake this over ice and strain into the glass.
1/2 oz. - Lime juice
1/2 oz. - Grenadine down the side of the glass so it sinks
Top with Lemon- Lime Soda
Garnish with a cherry in the bottom.

And if you ever need to make one for someone under the age of 21 here is a good non-alcoholic rendition of the Bomb Pop... I know what is this blog coming to? Well here is a little something for everyone.

Pop Mocktail

Fill a Collins or Pint glass with ice
Pour all ingredients over the ice in equal parts in this order.
1 part - Cranberry juice
1 part - Blue Gatorade or Powerade
1 part - Lemon - Lime Soda

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Barenjager - a little shot of honey.

I picked up a bottle of Barenjager the other day on a tip from a friend of mine. He said it could be used in many ways and I would be very happy I had it. I figured the best way to try it out was to give it a straight shot in a chilled glass. Thinking a good way to help me sleep was to take a hit from the honey bee nectar. Let me tell you it was seriously like drinking straight honey. This liqueur is so smooth. Shooting it was a bit strong sort of like Winnie the Pooh just eating directly out of the honey pot however, I could easily sip this over ice.I was also told a splash of this over vanilla ice cream works well too. I do not currently have this at my bar as not many do but I can tell you I will get them to carry Barenjager in the future. Here are a few other uses...

Pink Honey Martini
1 oz. - Barenjager
2 oz. - Vodka
Splash of Cranberry juice
2 slices fresh lime juice.

Champagne Polonaise
1 oz. - Blackberry Brandy
1 oz. - Barenjager
Fill with Champagne
* Serve in a champagne flute

Golden Zinger Martini
.5 oz. - Barenjager
2 oz - Citron Vodka
.5 oz - Lemonchello
Splash of OJ
Splash of fresh lemon juice

Bee Hive Cocktail

1 oz. - Barenjager
2 oz. - Whiskey
1/4 oz. - Fresh squeezed lemon

And of course a couple of parting shots...

Honeydew Me Shot
2 parts - Barenjager
1 part - Melon liqueur
1 part Pineapple juice

Bee Shot
Layer these parts
1 part - Jagermeister
1 part - Barenjager
1 part - Jagermeister
1 part - Barenjager

Remember these guys! "The Killer Bees" from the WWF
... I really couldn't resist.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Toasts for the week!

May you...
Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no-one is watching,
screw like it's being filmed,
and drink like a true Irishman.

Four blessings upon you...
Older whiskey
Younger women
Faster horses
More money


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Happy Birthday to me!

Alright today is my birthday! I know I am probably a little to old to get excited for it however this is the one day of the year that is suppose to be in theory a pretty smooth day. Also this is the one day of the year you can get away with just about anything by saying "hey it's my birthday" after whatever foul thing you do. Seriously give it a shot, take change out of the "give a penny, take a penny" bin at the store, drive a little too fast, have one more drink than you are suppose to (but DO NOT drive,) or slap a nun.... ok don't do that because then you're in the express line for hell. However all silliness aside this is a good day just to celebrate if your are me or anyone else with this day and feel free to let it spill over to the weekend too! In honor of my mothers long day of labor I present to you a few birthday cocktails.

Birthday Cake Partini
2 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz - Almond liqueur
1.5 oz - Half and half
Lemon zest
* Shake over ice and strain
Garnish with a floating candle and feel free to dance poorly!

Birthday Martini
1 oz. - Vodka
1 oz. - Chambord
.5 oz - Creme de Cacao
1 oz - Milk
Garnish with the birthday song!

Happy Birthday in a Glass
Serve in a champagne glass
1/2 oz. - Light rum
1/2 oz. - Pineapple juice
1/2 oz. - Triple Sec
1/2 oz. - Peach schnapps
1/2 oz. - Blackberry schnapps
Fill with Champagne

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A new one on me: The Skinny Bitch

Last night there was a couple of guys that came into the bar and ordered a drink I never heard of. The drink is called the "Skinny Bitch." Seeing as this is a new one on me I figured I would share it with all of you.

The Skinny Bitch
1 slice of lemon, lime and orange
Muddle these in a tall glass with a mint leave if you have it.
Fill the glass with ice.
2 oz. - Orange Vodka
Top off with Club Soda
Garnish with a cherry.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Oh Captain, My Captain!

Tonight along the way home I decided to pick up a bottle of Captain Morgan Coconut Rum. It isn't often I get the opportunity to have a drink for myself. So tonight I figured I would grab a bottle for myself and have a drink or two before drifting off to bed. Also before I get too far this is a true story and not just some silly ploy at a possible kickback from the Captain Morgan people. I genuinely like the product. So please do not mistake me for just some corporate shill. Anyway, it's a cold night and I would like to remember the summer and warmer times and what better way to do this than with a hint of tropical coconut. My first thought was to have a couple of rum and Cokes but the last thing I want to do is be up all night. So I figured I would find a few other tasty drinks that would sit nice and go well with a little Jimmy Buffet music. Who knows I might just slip on my flip flops while I sit on my couch.

Cast Away (Wilson style)
3oz. - Parrot Bay Coconut rum
2 oz. - OJ
2 oz. Creme de Banana liqueur
2 oz. - Strawberry juice

The Captains Love Potion Martini
2 oz. - Parrot Bay Coconut Rum
2 oz. - Chambord
2 oz. - Pineapple juice
Dash of lime juice
7 drops of grenadine
garnish with a cherry and a lemon twist

Peeing Parrot

2 oz. - Parrot Bay Coconut Rum
1 oz. - Cranberry Schnapps
Finish with lemon lime soda over ice

Sweet Summer Dream
(In a hurricane glass)

3 oz. - Parrot Bay Coconut Rum
2 oz. - Cranberry juice
2 oz. - Orange juice
2 oz. - Pineapple juice
2 oz. - Chambord
1 oz. - Triple Sec
Garnish with orange & cherry flag

A funny joke or three.

A man and a woman are sitting at the bar having a conversation about what will happen if the other one dies. The man asks the woman "if I die first can you please sell all my stuff?"
woman: "Why do you want me to see all your stuff?
Man: "If I die first and you get remarried I don't want some other asshole to get all my stuff."
Woman: "What makes you think if you die first I would marry ANOTHER asshole?"

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and asks him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Jagermeister and all its glory

I had the pleasure of meeting Jon A. Hildreth the other day in La Careta Restaurant in Manchester, NH. I was talking to a friend of mine about the "Q-Ball" a Halloween party I was at over the weekend in Portland, Maine. If you have never been to this party it is a must! Jon is the Northeast Control State Manager for the Sidney Frank Importing Company in other words if you are in the New England states and want Jagermeister in your bar or store you need to speak with Mr. Hildreth. Jon is a great guy and fun to talk to and in talking to him it turns out he is also the guy who sends the "Jager-ettes" out to bar promotions. Jon was the one to set up the "Jager-ettes" to be at the Q-Ball this past weekend. The "Jager-ettes" for those of you who don't know are the hot shot girls who walk around the club in the sexy Jagermeister outfits selling shots of? You guessed it! Jagermeister! Needless to say it is Jon's terribly taxing task I am sure to see to it that the "Jager-ettes" are of the highest quality. Tough job but hey someone has to do it right?
So on to my point, talking to Jon stirred up memories of my first Jagermeister and many other experiences. However my first one was probably the funniest and I figured I would share with all of you. So kick back in your easy chair while I tell you a story.

I was 21 years old and with my now ex-wife Winona at the time when this all happened. Winona had a very deep German family heritage. Her grandmother was more or less fresh off the boat and her family home was filled with German nick-knacks and cuckoo clocks. I was already not what her family had in mind for her so there I was at a dinner with her family trying my best to make a good impression. I was using all my manors and even laughing at her fathers terrible puns as if I was a city kid trying to impress the Dean of Harvard in hopes of getting in. Not that I have terrible manors otherwise but I was not that guy, that is for sure. Dinner finally came to an end and everyone went to the living room to sit and stare at each other. Seriously no one really spoke they all just sat there in awkward silence with the occasional sounds of food settling in her father and grandmothers stomachs and maybe a line or two about someone in the family doing something. I was bored to tears!

Next thing you know Winona stands up and says "who would like some Jager?" I thought I was hearing things, I had to ask if that is what she really said and if "Jager" was truly Jagermeister or something else completely. Much to my surprise it was Jagermeister and like a gift from above Winona opened the freezer door to reveal a big bottle of Jager and several ornate frozen shot glasses. Finally this is a scene I can get into. I remember looking at Granny as she took her little shot glass from the trey like "now this is my kind of party!"

What happened next killed any chances I ever had at a good impression. "over the teeth and through the gum's look out stomach here it comes." As I plowed the shot of Jager I could see the look of horror coming from Granny and her father in my direction. As the Jagermeister made its way down my throat I could feel the warmth of the liquid blend with the warmth of my embarrassment as everyone else sipped their Jager I was ready to do a keg stand and call for my next shot. Needless to say I was not asked back to dinner anytime soon. Who knew anyone actually sipped Jager?! Are these the same people who liked Moxie?

Well come to find out plenty of people and now I as well can and will occasionally sip Jagermeister as an after dinner drink. It was an acquired taste for me and maybe for many others. Believe it or not Jagermeister instead of vodka in your Bloody Mary is very tasty. If Jon ever needs help finding new "Jager-ette" talent or, wants to send a "Jager-ette" or two my way however to assist in the process she will be received with open arms! However if drinking it straight is not your thing then here are a few mixes you might want to try.

Hairy Berry Martini

1 oz. - Jagermeister
1 oz. - Peach Schnapps
1.5 oz. - Cranberry juice
* Shake and strain into a martini glass
Top with lemon-lime soda

420 Punch
1 oz. - Rum
1 oz. - Apple Pucker
1 oz. - Cranberry Juice
1 oz. - Jagermeister
1 oz. - Orange Juice
1 oz. - Peach Schnapps
1 oz. - Pineapple Juice
1 oz. - Sour Mix
Shake and pour over ice in a tall glass
Top with lemon-lime soda

California Surfer
1.5 oz - Coconut Rum
1.5 oz - Jagermeister
Fill with Pineapple Juice
Serve over ice.

And if you ever do want to do a shot or two here are a few...

Asto Pop Shot
1 part - Blue Curacao
1 part - Cinnamon Schnapps
1 part - Jagermeister
1 part - Goldschlager
1 part - Midori
1 part - Rumple Minze
*layer each and serve.

Redheaded Slut
1 part - Cranberry Juice
1 part - Jagermeister
1 part - Peach Schnapps
*Shake over ice, pour and serve