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Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Summertime Concoctions

May in New England means a variety of things to people here. It usually comes in with one last blizzard and leaves with a heat wave. It means we get to see grass and sometimes flowers. By now we all know if the Red Sox are going to tank and stand idly by while the New York Yankees hand down multiple beatings or be half decent or be a contender for the pennant. It means barbeque's and women having to buy a bag catcher for their Epilady for their first shave of spring. It means it is time to put away the skis and get out the golf clubs and tennis racquet's. We get to mow our lawns and begin to til l the garden. We clean our window screens and open all the windows to let out the stagnant winter air that has collected in the house. Target is going to have a run on diet pills, while Shaw's, Hanaford and Market Basket are going to need to stock up on fruits and vegetables in preparation of crash dieting. Let's not forget your local gym gets to market their services and prey on our self confidence warning all of us the beach season will soon be here. 

$5 a drink... Genious!
Spring here also gives hope to a longer that 8 day summer. The thermometer could reach as high as 95 degrees! We hope the days between Memorial Day and Labor Day last forever. New Englanders head to New Hampshire for Fireworks now instead of just cheap cigarettes and tax free booze right on the highway. Vermonter's take off a layer of flannel. In Massachusetts odd tan lines begin to appear and most of us need sun glasses not to protect from the sun but instead the ungodly radiant white skin that seems to reflect the rays as the Irish community of South Boston as they all get their first sun burn of the season. While the Italians to the North of the city become bronze. Motorcycles come out and Jeepp tops peel off. Suddenly all 10 miles of Rhode Island become a place to visit. Car radios get turned up and even people from Connecticut that have a normally high uptight "pucker factor" seems to chill just a bit. Here in Maine the locals head "upta camp" to the North of the state as all the cars from New York and Canada litter the interstate to the vacation land's South.  

The overall message is that Summer is on its way and even if you are going no further than your front yard for the weekend. The sunshine makes us all think we are on vacation from Friday to Sunday night. I can't help but think about Jimmy Buffet singing Margaritaville:

"I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heel had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on."

This is the scope of my post here today. This past Sunday I was tending bar and I made a Malibu and pineapple for a patron and when her daughter took a sip she said it tasted like vacation. When it was her turn to order I told her to leave it to me and allow me to make her something to reminder her of sitting in the sand. One of my bar tending gigs a while ago was at a hotel that would bring in people to work at the resort from Jamaica. Gary taught me a few things about how they do it on the island. (That didn't come out right but you get what I mean.) So here are a few nice tropical cocktails that are easy to make and pack in your cooler. Enjoy the 12 days of summer and your next trip to the beach. 

Chiiiiiillllll Rum Punch
1 oz. - Coconut Rum
.5 oz. - Banana Liquor
1 oz. Pineapple juice
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Float Melon Liquor on top
Garnish with orange or pineapple wedges

Careful this one packs a punch.
1 lime cut into wedges
2 teaspoons fine sugar
Muddle the lime and sugar
Fill the glass with ice
2 oz. - Cachaca
Cachaca is a Brazilian style of rum.
Mix well and garnish with a piece of sugar cane.

On the Beach Margarita w/ Cumin Salt Rim
Most bars will serve you a Margarita filled with sour mix. This is the right way to make a perfect margarita while sitting on the beach.
1.5 oz. - Blanco Tequila
1 oz. - Fresh lime juice
.5 oz. - Cointreau
Splash of OJ
Cumin Salt Rim
2 parts - Kosher Salt
.5 parts - Cumin
Crush or muddle lightly
Build the drink
Dip the rim of your glass/ red solo cup in the ocean water.
Roll the rim in the Cumin Salt.
Fill the vessel with ice and add liquid ingredients
Stir, garnish with a lime wedge, sit back in your beach chair, grab your guitar sip and strum...

Kinky Colada
In a blender. Double recipe for more people.
2 oz. - Coconut Rum
1/2 Banana
Small scoop of ice cubes
3 oz. - Coconut milk
3 large chunks of pineapple
Splash of OJ
Blend well on high till completely smooth
1 oz. - Pink Kinky Liquor (after pouring in glass.) 

Kinky Colada's with breakfast. The most important meal of the day!

The top is off the Jeep and the snow has almost stopped here. My cooler is packed and I'm off to the beach. Now I'm going to let the words of Zach Brown fade me out...

"'Cause my bartender, she's from the islands
Her body's been kissed by the sun
And coconut replaces the smell of the bar
And I don't know if it's her or the rum
I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today, life is good today."


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