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Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Funny Stuff...

The other night I was as always behind the bar. A couple walked in and had a couple of beers. Nothing out of the ordinary. She was a good looking brunet and her husband was a very large Marine looking type. As the night went on she grew tired of her husband talking in depth with another guy who was 4 gin and tonics into his night so I am sure he could have pontificated on just about anything.
As she grew more tired of the conversation she looked for elsewhere to go. She found a friendly couple on the other side of the bar and came right over and sat down and said "You seem fun and that conversation over there was boring me." The two ladies got chatting and I should have known this was going to be trouble for me.
Once they found out my name was Charley they immediately likened me to "Charlie Harper." If you don't know who this is I will give you the Wikipedia summary:

Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper
is a fictional character from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men. Played by actor Charlie Sheen, the character has garnered him three Emmy nominations for Outstanding Lead Actor and two Golden Globe nominations for Best Performance by an Actor in a Comedy Series.

Charlie is the brother of Alan Harper and uncle to Alan's son Jake Harper. After being expelled from Juilliard, Charlie began writing jingles for a living. His most famous composition is the Maple Loops song. Charlie then became a successful composer and singer of children's music, with the alias "Charlie Waffles", when the jingle business dried up. The character of Charlie Harper is loosely based on Charlie Sheen, the actor who portrays the character.

Charlie prides himself on his bachelor lifestyle in Malibu and drives a Mercedes, and a FerrariJaguar). His lifestyle consists of living in a two-story beachfront home, drinking excessively, smoking cigars, constant womanizing, gambling, and wearing expensive shirts and shorts the vast majority of the time. Charlie sleeps in constantly, and is the boss of a full-time housekeeper. Money "falls into his lap" as he lives a life of free-spirited debauchery.

In one of the last episodes of "Two and a Half Men" Charlies pick-up line at the bar was a simple "Hi my name is Charlie, I have a house on the beach, I drive a Mercedes and I have a python in my pants."

With all this said This woman looks right at me upon learning my name is Charley and asks in front of the entire bar if I have a "python in my pants." Not only in front of the entire bar but also before her very large husband who turns out to be a local police officer as he makes his way to his wife after a few beers and what looks like a bitter end to his last conversation.

To which I answer... "Is the limp really that noticeable?" And quickly walked to the other side of the bar!


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