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Looking for a Bartender for your next function? E-Mail or Call Me! (207) 432-5056

Thoughts, stories, ideas, recipes, cheers, and more... What else did you think you would get for a $1 tip?

For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Just Ask Me... I'll Tell You!

A few weeks ago Father Patrick from the church up the street from the bar came in for dinner and a drink. He was having a particularly rough day. He had a lot on his mind and was talking to me about some of the things going on in his life. He stopped at one point and said with his Irish accent "you know our jobs are a lot alike." When I asked how he figured he told me "you probably hear more confessions and are asked for more advice on a daily basis that I do" he said half joking. I got to thinking and damn if he wasn't right. In fact a lot of times people are even less inhibited to give me all the details after having a few drinks in them and knowing I won't give them a list of penance after the fact. Days later a friend of mine was looking at this blog and when pressed for a suggestion they said I needed to inject my own "explicit point of view" instead of holding my tongue at times.
So with that in mind I am adding this new section where I will give my own take on questions I am asked mostly at the bar or just from daily life. If you have any questions by all means fire away!

Q: I was in the shower the other day and my girlfriend came in and used the bathroom. How do I tell her that I am not ready for this level of intimacy?

A: I never did understand the need to share bathroom space. Something about hearing someone on the toilet is bad enough to ruin much of the mystery for me. I prefer to keep that portion of my life very private. What I do behind those doors is and always will be my business. I definitely do not need to be in the same room while she is straining on a number 2! My advice would be to nip this in the bud and just be up front and honest about it tell her you appreciate that part of your lives to be private. There is nothing sexy about watching her pick and preen her way to beauty. You would prefer to see the gift and not how it gets wrapped.

Q: I'm the coach of my son's basketball team but he is the worst player on my roster. I want so badly to play him more but that is unfair to the rest of the team. What should I do.

Bench the little guy till he gets a clue! No, no, no, seriously you can really only give him the time he deserves. If you play him more time than he deserves the heat he gets from the rest of the team for being the coaches son will be doing him no favors. Unless your son is slow in the head he must realize he is far from the top dog. Being on the bottom rung gives the two of you something to work on together. Look at this as a challenge you can both work on. When you have time away from the team work with him on the things he lacks without being overbearing. There are lots of ways to drill good habits and better skills without feeling like practice and just reinforce the notion that if he improves he will see more playing time, just never say how much more. Making your son understand he needs to work for what he gets is a great lesson to be learned early in life.

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