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For those of you looking for something on the more sophisticated side you have my apologies. This blog unfortunately mirrors the author (yours truly.) Some of the humor is not for everyone but I liked it and it's my blog so there! My patrons sometimes ask me where I come up with some of this stuff. I am glad to tell them my mind is a lot like Canada. It is sometimes a bit cold, there are a few dark corners, some of it down right confusing and even a bit dirty but there is also a lot of neat stuff up there. So I hope you all enjoy this blog! ... Cheers!

Monday, December 8, 2014

What the Hell Does He mean by That?

 Speaking to one of my greatest friends Jenn today she was telling me about a guy that she was seeing in Northern Maine. For those of you that don't know much about the state of Maine allow me to educate you for a spell.

You see Maine has a few parts to it. There is "Southern Maine" (where I live.) More that three quarters of the population lives in Southern portion. The southern portion is really anything from Portland to the New Hampshire boarder.

Then there is "Northern Maine" essentially anything from Portland to Bangor. This is where all the skiing is done as well. Or when you hear a "Mainer" say they are "going up to camp." They are generally headed to this section.

Then there is "Way the hell up there!" This is anything past Bangor to the North. People in this area typically speak both English and French due to being so close to Canada. There was a time when Maine was actually a territory of Massachusetts. There is a bill on the floor of the house to this day to rename and give controlling power of "Way the hell up there" back to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The citizens of Southern Maine from what I can tell don't really give a shit if it is given back to the "Mass-holes" or made part of Canada. For all we care it is a lot less grass our state government has to have mowed during the 5 days of warm weather we call "Summah" (summer.)

Back to my conversation with Jenn... She has gone out with a guy from Northern Maine a couple times. Each time he comes down to our neck of the woods here in Southern Maine to see her where they meet up in rocking big city of Portland. After their latest tryst he asked her "are you dating anyone else?" She answered "no" and he responded with something along the lines of "good, then I would like to date you." Now Jenn in all fairness saw this as him wanting to take a step in a more serious direction.

The two are also friends on Facebook. Where this gentleman was tagged in a picture with a different woman of the two having dinner together. Jenn asked the guy very innocently "how was dinner the other night" and his response was to tell her that he was not about to give up his fiends and he should be allowed to have female fiends. She has never been to "way the hell up there" and she has never met any of his friends.

So what does he mean when he says "good, then I would like to date you." So with the understanding that I am probably going to have my "Man card" revoked for giving away secrets and decoding our secret language. I get the "what does he mean by this question often.

After figuring out that she is not currently seeing anyone else and then saying he would like to date her is the equivalent of putting a bookmark in a book. You see ladies, us men don't want another man stretching out our pussy. Make no mistake about it he is not a boyfriend or even looking to be. She has never been to his house, met any of his friends and he has other side women "way the hell up there." Bottom line here is if you are "seeing other men" even the strongest man will have this in the back of his mind when we see you. We somehow think that if you aren't seeing other men then you are just sitting next to the stove waiting for our call or text. What we picture when we hear you are dating other guys too is similar to a orgy scene in a porn film.

If you truly want to see a mans insecurity come out then tell him that you are seeing a couple men. If he is serious about you then you will see the green streak of jealousy. If he is just looking for a hook up then he won't give a flying rats ass who you are seeing on the side because you are a side chick.

Finally, Chris Rock said it best. "If your boyfriend has never introduced you to any of his friends. Then you are not his girlfriend!"

Ladies, you are welcome.


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