Spring, Sunshine, Margarita's and Snow?

This past week I have been plague with a good dose of writers block. Yes, I realize this blog is nothing more than the thoughts in my head but after all I am a man and unlike women who when asked "what are you thinking?" If they respond with "nothing" then they are lying and you are screwed because the thoughts they are having are more than likely about you and they just haven't thought of how to convey what a disappointment you are for whatever the reason is. Men on the other hand when asked the same question have all the right in the world to give the "nothing" answer. Why you may ask? Because absolutely nothing is flowing along our brain waves. There are at least 6 times in a day when I can say I am clinically brain dead! Seriously nothing going on between my ears. I would say in any given day there is about 25% of my time awake time is spent with absolutely no thoughts at all. Nothing! Another 40% of the time I am thinking something dirty, that is why I smile a lot. If I am smiling and looking at you, rest assured the dirty thought has you in it somehow. I would say about another 20% of the time is filled hair brained Ralph Cramden/ Fred Flintstone type get rich quick ideas.

Side note:I still say the soap melter idea where you put your final chips of a bar of soap and the machine melts them down to make a liquid soap out of them is still a killer idea.
But I digress... The rest of my thought time is day to day stuff like don't forget to breath, hey I'm hungry, one foot in front of the other and if I do this will I get fired type thoughts.



With all this said I was giving thought to Spring. I am growing some vegetables this year for the first time ever. I was more excited that a sexually active teenage girl to get her period (to graphic?) When I saw the first sprouts of my tomato plants being grown inside pop through the soil. I have an entire herb garden as well so you can bet a few recipes will have some tasty fresh herbs soon. The days are slowly getting longer, the sun is coming through the clouds a bit more and I can make it from my door to the car without everything in my nose freezing just so have it all thaw and be spread on my sleeve. With Spring comes hopes for Summer and Summer in a resort town springs thoughts of money. Lots and lots of dirty money. And what comes of all this Spring hope??? Snow! 10 - 15 inches of flakes tonight! Are you freakin' serious!!! I want to find a weatherman and throw him off a bridge.


Alright back on track, with all this hope comes change. Follow me now and try not to get ahead of me. Yes I said change. I have been offering up quite a few martinis in the recent past and I thought now might be a good time to offer a change. I went out a few days ago for tacos and sat at the bar. I have been having a great deal of fun infusing vodka lately with watermelon and hot peppers (see my blog on Bloody Mary's Revenge.) This Mexican bistro was infusing tequila. Now every time I drink tequila I loose my pants somehow. I could have them on very snug with a deadbolt as a belt and somehow I will end the night pant-less, happy and more than likely will have tried to write my name in some grassy knoll in public.

This reminds me of the 2 years I spent in San Antonio, TX partying along the River Walk every other night. At 19 I was able to get a fake ID that worked at all the bars at a nearby tattoo shop. The margarita was my drink of choice. Also the root of the picture to the right. I found this guy by the side of the road during Fiesta San Antonio after a few margaritas, we were both drunk and I just had to have a picture.

So this week comes the changes in the season and now a change of infusions. Here are a couple great ideas for infusing and using tequila. Cheers! ... Now where did my pants go?



Mango, Habanero Pepper and Cucumber Tequila
This tequila has just the right amount of sweet and spice and the cucumber chills it all out and makes it fresh. Place the following ingredients into a infusion jar:
Start with a gallon of your favorite Blanco Tequila. The better the tequila the better the taste and less headaches in the end.
Slice 8 Habanero peppers into rings removing the seeds.
Peel & slice 5 ripe mangos into wedges.
Peel & slice 2 large Seedless Cucumbers
Let this sit in the infusion jar for at least 1 week.

Sweet Melon and Mint Tequila
This tequila comes out a bit more tropical but has the fresh taste of melon. Place the following ingredients into a infusion jar:
1 Gallon of good Blanco Tequila
3 ripe Cantaloupe - Remove the seeds, cut into wedges and remove from the rind.
3 Honeydew Melons - Remove the seeds, cut into wedges and remove from the rind.
6 Sprigs of fresh Mint
Let this sit in the infusion jar for at least 1 week.

Now to build the Perfect Margarita.
Serve this in a margarita glass over ice.
2 oz. - Blanco Tequila - Here is where we use our newly infused tequila.
1 oz. - Cointreau - If you don't care for the people you are giving this to and want to save money a garden variety Triple Sec will do the trick.
1 oz. - Sweet and Sour Mix
Juice of 1/2 a Fresh Lime
I personally like salt on my rim but that is up to you, some people prefer sugar or nothing.

Maine Maple Sugar Weekend

This weekend up here in hee-haw-hell we have the Maine Maple Sugar Weekend. This weekend is where all the maple sugar farms open their gates to all you city slickers in your new L.L. Bean Plaid and New York license plates and come pet the sheep, lamas and feed the goats and see how maple sugar is made. Make no mistake about it just like we do in the fall when the "leaf peepers" come out to see all the pretty colors of the dead leaves anyone from Maine or NH driving behind you is cursing you out for f-ing up our traffic. Not to worry though we will always take your money no matter how rude you are even if you are wearing a Yankees hat.

All this aside this is a great time to have with the family and learn all about the maple sugar industry. I figure it might be a good idea to play along with the chamber of commerce and have a few maple ideas tossed into the mix. Cheers!


Maple Martini
Swirl a martini glass with maple syrup
2 oz. Vodka or Gin
1.5 Tablespoons of Maple syrup
Splash of Soda

Kicking Cow
Serve over ice
1 Tablespoon of Maple Syrup
1 oz. - Cream
2 oz. - Whiskey

Ice Cream Hogarth
2 oz. - Bailey's
1/2 cup - Vanilla Ice Cream
3 Tablespoons of Maple Syrup
Run all ingredients through the blender and serve

Maple Leaf
Serve over Ice
2 oz. - Burbon Whiskey
1.2 oz. - Lemon Juice
1 Tablespoon of Maple Syrup

Sweet Jesus
1 oz. - Amaretto
1 oz. - Malibu Rum
1 oz. - Southern Comfort
1 oz. - Vodka
1 oz. - Milk
1 Tablespoon of Maple Syrup

Amorous and Erotic Drinks

So this past week I had my devil horns on for sure. It was a bit quieter than usual so simply put I was feeling a bit bored with the slower pace. This is about the time in the evening my halo became slightly crooked. I spotted a girl sitting at the end of the bar and after chatting to her and her boyfriend for a bit she asked me about some stickers I had behind the bar left over from St. Patrick's Day. The stickers had silly stuff on them like "biggest shamrocks," " best buns" or "feeling lucky." She asked to have the "best shamrocks" sticker. Now in order to get you must first give in my book of life and thus was going to be the case this night as well. She was definitely a cutey and her boyfriend seemed pretty open to my brand of humor so away I went. The deal was pretty easy if I was able to guess her bra size in 3 tries she had to give me her bra to hang in the bar. If I failed she not only got the sticker but also a drink on me. Fair enough right? So I eyed her up all the while making a couple martinis. I asked her to sit up straight and maybe give me a little shake even and she did! Her boyfriend was turning more red by the second. I gave her girls one last look

Girl: "You will never get it."
Me: "C"
Girl: "Crap!"
Me: "32"
Girl: "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!"
Me: "Let's play a game called I win... 1-2-3 I win! ... I seriously love my job!"

Now I know this story may not be all that great to the rest of you and yes I am sure quite a bit of this scene is lost in the translation. The bottom line here is in my job I am somehow allowed to eye up a woman's breasts and it is perfectly legal and not sexual harassment. Now I may not have your typical 9 to 5 job but I dare you to try doing that to one of your clients next time you're at work and see what happens.

With all this said it might be a little crooked, it might be a little tarnished, and might even be a little dented but that thing on top of my head is still a halo dammit! Even better watching this girl come out of the bathroom with her bra in hand and fully blushing made it all worthwhile. Again I say I love my job! My mood was now set to amorous and I started to think of a few drinks that might match this mood. Here are a few I came up with, I know there are several others out there but this is just off the dome.

Victoria's Secret Martini
(Her bra was purple and black)
2 oz. - Raspberry Vodka
1 oz. - Hypnotiq
2 oz. - Pineapple juice
Garnish with a cherry of course

Screaming Orgasm
1 oz. - Raspberry Vodka
1.5 oz. - Caramel Bailey's
.5 oz. - Kahlua
Dash of Grenadine

The Silk Panty Martini
2 oz. - Vodka
1 oz. - Peach Schnapps
1 oz. - Chambord
Splash of Pineapple Juice

The Hot Chocolate Kiss Martini
2 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. - Godiva Chocolate
1 oz. - Bailey's Caramel
1.5 oz. - Goldschlager
Rim the glass with chocolate sauce and Cayenne pepper

The Big O
(I hope you all have multiples)
1.5 oz. - Orange Vodka
.5 oz. - Cointreau
1 oz. - Cranberry juice
1 oz. - OJ

St. Patrick's Day and All it's Glory!

So tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. If there ever was a need for people to have a reason to drink here is your day filled with green beer, lucky clovers and cheers the whole day through. So prior to the day itself I figure I should give you all a little guidance to help you to a great St Patrick's Day.

Step 1: A Brief History
St. Patrick's Day is a religious celebrated Internationally on March 17th. Named after the patron Saint of Ireland St. Patrick. A couple quick notes here... Patrick was not his original name at birth and he was never given a surname. During this time surnames where not used. He was born between 387 and 390 in Scotland as Maewyn Succat and died between 461 and 464 in Ireland of natural causes. Yes this means that the patron saint of Ireland was not born an Irishman but instead a Scott. You can bet to this day those cheeky Scottish have fun with that tid-bit. Pope Celestine the first gave him the name "Patercius" or "Patritius" at the time he made him a bishop and sent him as a missionary to Ireland.

His father and grandfather were deacons in the Church. At the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken captive to Ireland as a slave. It is believed he was held somewhere on the west coast of Ireland, possibly Mayo, but the exact location is unknown. According to his Confession, he was told by God in a dream to flee from captivity to the coast, where he would board a ship and return to Britain. Upon returning, he quickly joined the Church in Auxerre in Gaul and studied to be a priest. In 432, he again said that he was called back to Ireland, though as a bishop, to Christianise the Irish from their native polytheism. Irish folklore tells that one of his teaching methods included using the shamrock to explain the Christian doctrine of the Trinity to the Irish people. After nearly thirty years of evangelism, he died on 17 March 461, and according to tradition, was buried in Ireland parts unknown. Although there were other more successful missions to Ireland from Rome. Patrick endured as the principal champion of Irish Christianity and is held in esteem in the Irish Church.

Step 2: Eat, Drink and Be Merry!
EAT!
The official dinner of St. Patrick's Day is the boiled corn beef and cabbage dinner. Why? Who really cares... Long story short it has a lot to do with the Irish immigrants carrying forward a inexpensive meal from the days of the great potato famine.

DRINK!
Alright here is my sweet spot. I have a few ideas for drinks on this merry day outside of the traditional pint of Guinness, Shot of Irish whiskey and lets not forget green colored Bud Light. Like my Grandfather says "Light beer is like washing your feet with your socks on. Just makes no damn sense." So here are a few ideas and yes most of them are green.

The Shamrock Shake
1 oz. - Bailey's
2 oz. - Potatoe Vodka
1 oz. - Dark Cream de Menthe

1 oz. - Cream
Shake over ice and strain
Rim the Martini glass with green sugar

Shamrock Smoothie
2 oz -Melon Liqueur
1/2 oz - Triple Sec
Splash of Blue Curaçao
Juice of 2 limes
Shake over ice and strain
Use a cookie cutter to cut lime wheels into shamrocks

Shamrock Shooter
2 oz - Melon liqueur
1/2 oz - Irish Whiskey
1/2 oz - Irish cream liqueur
Chill and strain into a shot glass

Irish Blond Martini
2 oz. - Irish Whiskey
3/4 oz. - Blue Curacao
1/4 oz. - Sherry
1 Dash of orange bitters
Shake over ice and strain
Garnish with a flamed orange peel

Irish Pride Cocktail
3 oz. - Green Crème de Menthe
3 oz. - Amaretto
2 oz. - Lemon juice


Irish Gold
2 oz. - Irish Whiskey
1/2 oz. - Peach Schnapps
Splash of orange juice
Lime wheel for garnish


NEVER EVER order a "Irish Car Bomb" on St. Patrick's Day. This day is meant to be a holy day and free from the violence between the catholics and protestants that is well documented over the years.


Step 3: What the hell does "Erin Go Braugh" Mean?
This is a phrase used to express allegiance to Ireland, loosely translated to "Ireland Forever!"

Step 4: More Cheers!
Here are a few cheers to go hand in mouth with the day.

To Saint Patrick:
"Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again."

To Ireland:
"Here's to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here's to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here's to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that's this Irishman's toast!"

To Drinking:
"May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!"

To Luck:
"May you have all the happiness
and luck that life can hold—
And at the end of all your rainbows
may you find a pot of gold."

Step 5: Be safe!
For God and St. Patrick's sakes please DO NOT Drink and drive!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Cheers!

Ramblings From an Over Caffinated Bartender &The Caramel Machiato Martini

Warning! I have already had 4 cups of coffee before noon and I am on a roll! The weather around here is just starting to come around. By the way do not forget to set your clocks ahead this weekend. However with spring comes rain, spring showers and more rain. Now just follow me here... All this rain reminds me of Seattle and Seattle reminds me of coffee, over priced coffee but good coffee non-the-less oh and Seattle reminds me of that movie with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks and that little boy and if you didn't cry a little when they finally found love I mean really you are just not human. Oh and the Space Needle how can I forget that! But I digress, Seattle reminds me of coffee and I like coffee and coffee reminds me of Starbucks and Starbucks reminds me I need to get a small business loan to get my next cup of coffee there and don't be fooled "Seattle's Best" is merely Starbucks in disguise! Did you know there is a Starbucks directly across the street from a Starbucks on 6th Street in Austin Texas? All a sinister plot to extract my entire paycheck by way of coffee. I do love coffee and even more is the Caramel Machiato and the Cinnamon Dulce venti which is just a fancy way of saying "give me a coffee that has its own under-toe! So if you are a coffee l;over like me then here is a new twist on these two high octane beauties. Now I'm off to buy a second coffee pot and more coffee!


Caramel Machiato Martini
1 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. - cold coffee
1 oz. - Caramel Bailey's Irish Cream
1/2 oz. - Cream
1/2 oz. - Kahlua
1 Squirt of Caramel Sauce
Drizzle the Martini glass with Caramel
Shake very well over Ice & get a nice foam head then strain

Cinnamon Dulce Latte Martini
1 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. - cold Espresso
1 oz. - Goldschlager
1/2 oz. - Cream
1 oz. - Caramel Bailey's Irish Cream
Shake over ice and strain
Garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon

Cheers!

More Kind Words from Happy Customers on TripAdvisor

These kind words came from the Angelina's page on TripAdvisor.com. Looks like I am doing a half decent job... go figure!

1) I had such a great time here. Charles the bartender was friendly, funny and made killer drinks!
I will be back for sure!

2) I met the bartender, Charles, over this past summer while working in Wells. The Wells/Ogunquit area was unfamiliar to me, and as a newcomer himself, Charles offered up some of his favorite local places. Angelina's was high on the list. After a dismal beginning to the winter season, I decided some cocktails were in order, and went down to Angelina's to see Charles in action and hopefully pick up a little holiday cheer. Now I am an extremely indecisive person, so Charles made me several choices ranging from the Sunset Martini to a Pointsetta Champagne Cocktail. After a few of these delicious but potent drinks, he also recommended the Stuffed Portobello Mushroom. This solid recommendation was the perfect compliment to the good company, wonderful atmosphere, great drinks and FANTASTIC service! I will most definitely be back to see Charles the bartender!

3) My husband and I have a time share in Ogunquit for years and never been to Angelina's. We went early and were waited on in the bar area by Charles who is also the bartender. I like frozen mudslides and although they did not have any Charles told me he could make me something even better that would suit my taste. He was right.

Some Very Kind Words about Yours Truely!

So I was told to take a peak at TripAdvisor.com today because something nice was posted about me! I was shocked at the kind words and want to thank whoever wrote them. I try not to toot my own horn and in most cases I am more self depreciating than anything else. So this posting below was a pretty sweet pick me up!

“Amazing weekend be sure to check out the pub!”

Myself and my husband came up for the weekend. We had a great weekend and the hotel is beautiful and the amenities are top notch. Everything was clean and the entire staff was friendly and worked hard to ensure we had a great stay.
The real gem of the trip was Charles the bartender in the West Meadow Pub! We have been to the hotel a few times in the past and every time the pub was cute but dead. We checked out the pub this time and were pleased to meet Charles the new bartender. He kept the bar hoping all night. We came back to the bar both Friday and Saturday night and both nights he was quick with a joke and yelled out cheers that kept the entire pub talking and on their toes. We had a ball! Then there was his many martinis. He is a true craftsman when it comes to his martinis. The pear martini and the banana pie martinis where my favorite. I saw him make a lot of other concoctions and did it all with a smile and even a bit of a show. This guy should really be in a larger venue so hopefully the hotel hangs onto him. We would seriously come back just to hang out at the pub. We enjoyed our stay and can not wait to make a return trip to our new favorite destination in Maine.

Another Video from The Bartender Hates You!

Granite State of Mind Part 2

Key West Pink Lemonade and Raspberry Lime Rickey's

This past weekend wasn't the busiest of weekends. I rearranged all the bottles and the beer chests by category. I cleaned a ton and infused vodka with watermelon. Then played a bit of mad scientist with my many bottles. Thankfully a cute girl came in a ordered a Key West Pink Lemonade. I had to ask her what was in it and when she said she had no idea and that she just made up the drink it was up to me to figure it out. Hooray, finally something fun to do! The next night a similar situation but this time was a Raspberry Lime Rickey.

Anyone else I would have told to get the hell out or order a real drink but like I said I was bored and she was cute... We all know how this ends. So here are how the drinks shook out along with a martini alternative.

Key West Pink Lemonade
2 oz. - Citron Vodka
1 oz. - Limonchello (clear)
1 oz. - Sour Mix
Splash - Cranberry juice
1 oz. - Lemon-Lime Soda
Serve on the rocks

Pink Lemonade Martini
2 oz. - Citron Vodka
1 oz. - Limonchello (clear)
1 oz. - Sour Mix
Splash - Cranberry juice
Squeeze of 2 Lemon wedges
Shake over ice and strain
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Rim the glass with Pink Lemonade mix
Garnish with a lime wheel

(Above: Who knew this was an actual movie??!!)

Raspberry Lime Rickey - Rum Method
Serve in a frosty mug over rocks
2 oz. - Parrot Bay Lime Rum
1 oz. - Raspberry Schnapps
1 oz. - Sour Mix
1 oz. - Cranberry juice
1/4 oz. - Grenadine
2 - Fresh Squeezed Lime wedges
Fill With Soda Water
Garnish with a lime wedge and fresh raspberries

Raspberry Lime Rickey - Vodka Method
Serve in a frosty mug over rocks
1 oz. - Citron Vodka
2 oz. - Raspberry Vodka
1 oz. - Sour Mix
1 oz. - Cranberry juice
1/4 oz. - Grenadine
2 - Fresh Squeezed Lime wedges
Fill With Lemon Lime Soda
Garnish with a lime wedge and fresh raspberries

Again they were both VERY cute and showing a lot of cleavage. On the down side their VERY LARGE husbands both ordered a beer.

Mardi Gras in Maine

This coming weekend is the annual Mardi Gras weekend in Ogunquit, Maine. Now let me go on record for saying nothing beats the real Mardi Gras in the New Orleans French Quarter. Also I will certainly have no problem at all feeding my need for dirty pictures on the internet when I type Mardi Gras into Google Images! I can hardly wait. However, before I proceed a quick history of Mardi Gras and what it really means.


Mardi Gras and the celebration are French origin. "mardi gras" translated from the french means "Tueday Fat" is the Catholic churches observance of the beginning of Lent. Fat Tuesday is the day before the first official day of Lent which is Ash Wednesday. The entire season is called Carnival.

The colors of the festival are purple, green and gold. Purple represents Justice; Green represents Faith; Gold represents Power.

Throwing from the floats began sporadically in the 1800's. These first throws, were often bon bons and other simple treats. People in the crowd, sometimes, threw small bags of flour, as a practical joke, which would burst on you or the float, when they hit.
The celebration is not about, "getting in as many sins in as possible before you have to repent and ask for forgiveness on Ash Wednesday". Mardi Gras no longer has any real religious observance. Like anything else, the holiday (it is a legal state holiday in Louisiana) consists of what you put into it.
Some people come to New Orleans and head to the French Quarter, to drink and FLASH their, "Assets", look for easy sex, and just let their fetishes hang out. It not about that and never was. Over time and because the city has a laid back attitude a lot of things that were over looked then, are just plain, "Hard to Stop", and local authorities have almost abdicated the power to put an end to it.


Ahhheeem.... Now then back to the colder climate in the great state of Maine. This weekend will be interesting at the very least. Being the diverse area that Ogunquit is I am told the parade and rest of the festival are nothing short of fun to watch! So in the spirit of Mardi Gras I have put together a list of drinks you might find down in the French Quarter.

Cajun Martini
1 1/4 oz. - Vodka
1 dash - Dry vermouth
Pickled jalapeno pepper
Shake and strain Vodka and Vermouth over ice.
Drop in the jalapeno.

New Orleans Martini
3 oz. - Vanilla Vodka
1/2 oz. - dry vermouth
1/2 oz. - Licorice liqueur
1 Dash - Angostura bitters
Shake over ice and strain.
Garnish with a sprig of Mint

OK this one may seem incensitive but seriously this is a very big drink for this festival. Everywhere you look you will see people toting around the yard glasses of Hurricanes. So even as crass an individual I am this is in no way in any reference to Hurricane Katrina.

Hurricane, New Orleans Style
1 oz. - White Rum
1 oz. - Jamaican dark rum
1 oz. - Bacardi 151 Rum
3 oz. - Orange juice
3 oz. - Pineapple juice
1/2 oz. - Grenadine
Garnish with fruit wedges (Orange, Lime, Lemon, Cherry)